Rituals and ritualism

I HAVE done my very best to find some rationale behind religious rituals practiced by different communities. And failed. I said to myself if the purpose of religion is to make a man a better human being, the ritual he or she is asked to perform should be a step in that direction. In recent months I spent a lot of time watching such rituals over TV, listening to discourses by learned savants expounding the finer points of Muslim practice over Ramadan, ablutions to be performed before namaz and the variations in different forms of namaz: Pak television has these programmes specially designed to inform the educated elite. I learned much I did not know about but I could not see in what way it improved a human being. My survey, which was all pervasive embracing Hindu, Muslim and Sikh ritual, yielded negative results.

Let me elucidate. I know a Sikh family with whom I stay whenever I am in Chennai. They are very devout but also believe in high living: good food and premium Scotch. But once every year the scion of the family, Sunny Malhan, goes on barefoot pilgrimage to Sabarmali temple in distant Kerala. For forty days the household becomes strictly vegetarian. I avoid staying with them during the period. I tried to question Sunny and his mother on this unusual annual aberration. I told them that idol-worship was not approved of in Sikh religion, as it was by the Arya Samaj or Islam. It did not make the slightest difference to Sunny Malhan. He continues to go barefoot to Sabarmali carrying a tray-load of offerings on his head. Only this year there was a stampede at the temple which took the lives of 50 pilgrims. I don’t know if that will shake Sunny Malhan’s faith in the ritual exercise. Somehow I don’t think it will. Then there were two Sikh Gurus’ birth anniversaries, one closely followed by the other. Both in the background of preparations for a mega bash on the 300th anniversary of the founding of the Khalsa Panth. Some ritual I was familiar with: the early dawn prabhat pheries — charming custom if only they would not sing out of tune, exploding bombs at midnight and crackers all day long. Nothing to do with the Gurus’ teachings but a time-honoured ritual. More serious were deliberations at conclaves of political leaders and scholars on how to spread the message of Sikhism to the four corners of the world. Two lots of blue-turbans and flowing white beards at variance with each other. Should it be a huge complex of monuments at Anandpur? Or mammoth processions to be taken out in all cities ensuring disruption of civil life for a few days?

For me, the most illuminating were lectures on Islam over Pak TV. Two maulvis with precisely shaved upper-lips and trimmed beards faced audiences of public school boys dressed in uniforms or well-dressed ladies and gentlemen of the upper classes. A young lady in a severely tied dupatta covering most of her forehead introduced the topic for the afternoon. In turn, the two maulvis pronounced their verdicts quoting chapter and verse from the Holy Koran and the Sunna — traditions of the Prophet. There are two kinds of religions, says one: ethereal i.e. divinely ordained and earthly i.e. man-made. The first comprises Judaism, Christianity and Islam (the perfected form), the others include Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism and Sikhism.

Despite the assumption of superiority, the learned Ulema then went into great detail about the performance of ablution (Wuzoo) before prayer (if water is not available use earth). And such matters. All these were solemnly noted down by the audience, searching questions asked and answered.

After many afternoons of hearing these discourses and picking up information on subjects that these holy men of learning considered of vital importance, I was left with the uneasy feeling that I had missed out on the spiritual message. I get more mental stimulation listening to discourses of Acharya Goel, Morari and Asa Ram Bapu. I am beginning to lose my patience with purveyors of religion and morality. Why don’t they come down from their lofty pedestals and talk to us in a language we can understand, shorn of quotations from the sacred texts and stories from the epics? Why don’t they deal with the nitty-gritty of problems that affect our society today: lying, cheating, corruption, intolerance, violence, uncontrolled population growth, unchecked despoilation of our environment? And much else which effects our day to day living.

Goa: X-mas to New Year (III)

In a couple of days life falls into a routine: almost entirely health oriented. Rise at 6 a.m. and consume a glass full of chilled coconut juice lying in the fridge. You can feel it going down your entrails cleansing everything before it. You get in your T-shirt and shorts and go barefoot to the dining room.

The buffet offers a large variety of European and Indian breakfast items- eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh fruit, cauliflower au grateu. Indian fare is Idli, dosa, uttapam and sambhar and coconut chutney. I take a glass of mango juice followed by idli, uttapam and coffee. It is lighter and tastier than any breakfast food I know. It is followed by a 15 minute walk on Bogmali beach, one end to the other.

Then I collect two towels, take off my T-shirt and lay myself on a mattress and soak in the sun. By 11 the sun’s rays become too warm for comfort. I get into my bathing suit and step gingerly into the pool. The water is chilly but refreshing. I do half a dozen lengths and dry myself in the sun. I scribble a few pages of the novel I am working on till noon time. I return to my room, take a few biscuits with cheese I have brought with me and wash it down with a glass of port wine left in my room by the management.

An hour of siesta, more scribbling and then the health club for sauna or a steam bath that takes out whatever poisons that remain. My body is now as clean as the proverbial whistle. I should be going into the sea for a swim but at my age I find it difficult to stand up in soft sand. So I prefer to lie by the pool side and watch the sunset through a line of coconut palms.

Other guests foregather in the bar. I return to my room, take a couple of Scotches and watch TV. At 7 p.m., I step out of the hotel, walk through Bogmali village to the Sea Cuisine run by the D’Cruz family. The sea food is freshly cooked. The Feni is home distilled. The family have been my friends over ten years. Sally who married an Englishman writes to them that one dinner is to be debited to her. The family gives me another free of charge. I come back in my room at 9 p.m. and lull myself to sleep watching TV while lying in bed. I cannot think of a better way of rejuvenating oneself than 10 days in Goa — sea, sun and clean fresh air.

Survey

A recent study was made to find out what days men prefer to have sex? It was found that men referred to engage in sexual activity on the days that started with "T": Tuesday, Thursday, Thanksgiving, Today, Tomorrow, Thaturday and Thunday.

Standing up for himself

Walking into the bar, Harvey said to the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one, Eddie. I just had another fight with the little woman".

"Oh yeah", said Eddie. "And how did this one end?" "When it was over", Harvey replied. "She came to me on her hands and knees". "Really? Now that’s a switch! What did she say?"

"She said, ‘Come out from under that bed, you gutless rat!"

(Contributed by Amir Tuteja, Washington)