Take control of your life
By Vebhav Gupta

ABHISHEK, a B.Com final year student, has a flair for writing and plans to do mass communications. But, unfortunately, his mother wishes him to do MBA and his father desires him to be an IAS officer. Abhishek is confused and frustrated.

Abhishek's is not an isolated case. Today’s many young people face such problems when they are at the threshold of career-making. Even though, today’s youth is bold and confident, but, when it comes in choosing a career, they become "puppets" in the hands of their parents.Ultimately, it is the parents who decide and choose the child's career, irrespective of what the child wants. The final decision rests with the parents.

And the youth too, does not fight against the expectations and wishes of parents. It is not because he/she lacks confidence in his/her abilities, but, because of our social environment, upbringing and attitude. Right from our birth, all our decisions are guided and influenced by our parents’ will and wishes. We were brought up in such a system and environment that children remain, followers forever. One can call it ‘respect,' but it is definitely at the cost of personal wishes, desires and happiness.

Pressure of performance has turned the 90s child into an info-maniac. In the past several years, reports of anxious school and college students who kill themselves, sometimes even before the result is out, have been on the increase. With increasing competition in every field, they are treated like machines and parents expect them to excel at all costs.

Parents wish their child to be one up on the neighbour’s child. If a neighbour’s child is preparing for MBA, they too expect their child to be an MBA or IAS. A child may or may not have the same ability and aptitude as his neighbour, but he/she definitely has some other qualities, and that is what parents should look out for. They should never compare their child with anyone else. Comparison puts extra pressure on the child and adversely affects his capabilities and confidence level.

In Western countries, a child’s behaviour, attitude, interest and hobbies, likes and dislikes, mental aptitude and capabilities are studied right from the birth and the child is brought up so as to develop his abilities to the full extent. And this is the reason they are successful. There, a person becomes what he wishes to be and is devoted, loyal and sincere to his work.

Whereas, in India, it is vice-versa. A child becomes what his parents wish him to be. If a person wishes to be a doctor, he is forced to be an engineer and vice-versa. The result — low confidence level, high frustration level and waste of abilities, which ultimately affects his professional and personal life. This is the reason why satisfaction level in jobs is low among Indians.

There are basically two reasons why parents interfere and force their children to choose a particular career. Firstly, parents force their children to join the same profession or career as theirs, for the sake of continuing the tradition. Secondly, parents wish their children to become what they themselves wanted to be but failed because of various limitations. So, through their children, they wish to fulfil their cherished dreams.

But they never realise that like them, their children too have their dreams, desires and ambitions in life. They too wish to fulfil their aims and objectives.

Very few children have the support and co-operation of their parents and the right and the authority to decide and choose their careers . And they are the ones who are really successful and happy. They may or may not be rich, but they have a sense of fulfilment, achievement and satisfaction.

It is our upbringing, social system and the environment which has to be changed if we really wish our children to be successful and happy in life. Today’s youth has the ability, attitude and confidence.What they require is timely support, guidance and encouragement from their parents.

A child is neither a genius nor dumb by birth. It is the upbringing, proper training , education and the environment that decide the destiny of a child.

Right from the birth, a child’s interest and mental aptitude should be studied.Talents and abilities of a child should be cultivated and nourished. A child should be allowed to do the things in his own way. Let him/her make mistakes. Mistakes will provide him the experience, which in turn will boost his/her confidence level.

Allow your children to take their own decisions and develop in them the courage to stand by these decisions. Give them the freedom to decide their own future. And by the time they reach the threshold of their careers, they will be fully aware of their potential and capabilities and will confidentially choose the right career.

Along with parents, teachers too play a vital role in making a child’s future. Teachers are in close contact with the students and so can study the student’s attitude and aptitude from close quarters. Every school and college should have a career guidance cell and specialists to study the talents of students individually.

Make your own destiny. Fulfil your dreams. Develop the courage to take decisions and to stand by them. You have your own life, dreams, desires, aims and objectives. Go out with full vigour and energy and show the world your true potential and talent.