Sunday, December 23, 2001		Life Ties

ARUN and Bala were not identical twins. Arun was lean and bony, whereas Bala was stout and fleshy. While Arun took his model looks for granted, indulging in good things without feeling guilty or apprehensive Bala’s was a constant battle of the bulge. Food was his weakness. He envied his soulmate Jughead, in Archie comics, who could indulge in gastronomic fantasies and yet remain thin as a beanpole while he was left giving the roly-poly Adnan Sami competition.

There was no diet or nutritionist Bala did not try but his voracious appetite and interest in food overtook resolutions of restraint. The intellectual in him was appalled at his gluttonous vices. However, what he could not do with his appetite he made up in other spheres of his life. He knew, unlike his social and charming brother, he would not be able to impress people immediately. Rather, he would have to labour over being taken seriously. Which is why he worked hard at "becoming something in life".

An eclectic reader, he found interesting anecdotes to pep up any conversation. Along with being well-informed, Bala was an excellent listener. He nurtured the invaluable bonds he shared with his friends and family. Since he had learnt to look inwards early in life he developed a strong spiritual and intellectual bent of mind. He searched for meaning in whatever he did and was sincere in his relationships.

Arun, on the contrary, was surfacial in his dealings with people. He liked to be the centre of attraction and since he commanded immediate attention anyway, he never felt the need to develop himself or be sensitive to other’s concerns. He took people for granted and was used to demanding, taking and grabbing not giving, sharing and sacrificing. He always wanted more and more of his parent’s money, more of his girl friend’s time, more of his servants’ devoted service and more of his cronies’ fun-filled programmes. He was on a constant overdrive, pushing others to stretch themselves to please him. When he found them hinting at a disagreement, he would flare up and threaten to walk out. If they did not appease him, he would sulk to the extent of permanently severing ties. If it hurt, he banished the thought and engaged himself in a new set of pursuits. There was no attempt to introspect and see if he was doing something wrong. His entire life was focused on the "more is better" philosophy. He wanted more money, power, acquisitions and status symbols on the material level. On the personal side, he wanted more from those who were a part of his life.

When he was young, he was on a roller-coaster. It didn’t matter if one group of friends deserted him or one girl friend gave up on him. He was on a high and the momentum of his life did not allow the low periods to let their pall of gloom hang too heavily on him. By the time he was in his late 30’s was when his lifestyle and behaviour-pattern caught up with him. His wife and children were fed up with his selfish and demanding ways. The daily rows became a public spectacle, with everyone pointing accusing fingers at him. His colleagues and bosses were disgruntled with his lofty ideas which were never backed with effort and hard work. Empty words and flashy lifestyle were not enough to grant him promotions. Superseded at work, distanced from the power centres, he invested his remaining energies in over indulgence of the 3 W’s using his wealth in mindless activities. All the partying, drinking and abusing of the body led to not just a depleted bank balance and a list of changing fair weather friends but also a weak liver, obese body and sluggish mind.

Bala, on the other hand, had a more stable life though ordinary and boring by Arun’s standards. Fairly contented with his family, children and professional position, his weakness for food still bothered him. It made him feel inept and guilty. For, this was the only part of his life which was not in order. It was James Joyce’s celebrated novel Ulysses which made him understand the relevance of gluttony as also the difference between gluttony of the stomach and gluttony of the mind.

According to Joyce, men are supposed to be cultured and civilised, not given to satiating hungers in an animal-like fashion. He draws a parallel between men and animals in a chilling sequence where his hero Leopald Bloom walks into a restaurant to find his senses (sight, sound, smell) assaulted : "stink gripped his trembling breath. Pungent meatjuice, slush of greens. See the animals feed. Men, men, men. Perched on high stools by the bar, hats shoved back at the tables calling for more bread no charge, swilling, wolfing, gobfuls of sloppy food, their eyes bulging, wiping wetted moustaches. New set of microbes. A man with an infant’s sauce-stained napkin tucked round him shoveled gurgling soup down his gullet. A man spitting back on his plate: half-masticated gristle gums, no teeth to chew, chew, chew it. A chump chop."

So revolting was the description that Bala felt he had walked into a noisy, chaotic barn, not a refined restaurant. At a deeper level, he saw the author’s perception of gluttony as a sin not because it denoted excess and greed but because it denied the existence of humanity and compassion. Through the character of Bloom, who is steeped in moderation, not given to over indulgence of any kind, he creates an average bumbling hero but one who emerges as an ‘exemplary person’ in the end. He uses Bloom to spell out the link between gluttony of the stomach and gluttony of the mind.

Bloom is no virtuous, cold, frigid idol. He is sensuous, dreamy and perceptive but his morality, sense of logic and duty allow him to moderate, control, restrain and limit. He thinks frequently about sex with other women, yet never acts upon those desires because he has a wife with whom his needs are met. There are times he is tempted to turn compulsively to food as an antidote to depression and restlessness but he fights the urge to be gluttonous. He is considerate, thoughtful and sincere without denying or suppressing his needs.

Bala sees a parallel between himself and Bloom except that he succumbs to the temptation of food. Yet, the larger message is not lost on him. He knows that to enjoy good health and loving relationships one only needs to ask, "How much do I really need ?" Once this is defined, the strength to stay within limits can be mustered. Also, it is easier to control gluttony of the stomach since it is a sin of the flesh and the flesh helps us by limiting it. When we go on a food or drink binge our body reacts by falling sick or by gaining pounds, forcing us to acknowledge the over indulgence.

But gluttony of the mind, as in the case of his brother Arun, it manifests itself in different extremes – greed for riches, status symbols, clothes and in making unreasonable demands on other’s time and affection. This gluttony can go unrecognised and therefore uncured. The resultant imbalances can percolate into different areas of our lives, messing us up without our being able to identify the reasons thereof. Had Arun identified the reasons which created most of his insatiable appetites and cravings (insecurity, jealousy, competitiveness, obsessive acquisitiveness, ego) finding ways of curbing them, he would have been a far happier person.