All the probing and enquiries were confined to the girl's side only. Not only were pointed queries made about the girl’s habits, but also how perfect she was in household chores, like cooking, embroidery, etc. At times, she was asked to cook so that her abilities. Though it was given to understand that the cooking had been done by the girl, some smart ladies from the boy’s side could easily make out what sort of assistance she had received from others.

Exhibiting works of embroidery, supposed to have been done by the girl, was yet another way to impress the boy’s parents and other elders. Colourfully embroidered ‘good night’, ‘welcome’, etc. on pillow covers and flowers, parrots, sparrows, peacocks on the bed covers were shown to them to convince them that the girl was very talented in the art of embroidery.

Then came times when ‘seeing’ and ‘approving’ of a girl (for the boys it came very late) became an ‘essential’ part of the matrimonial negotiations. Mostly these short girl-dekho sessions used to be held at the girl’s place. The girl, attired in her best outfit, was asked to serve tea and snacks to the ‘entourage’ consisting of boy’s parents, brothers and their wives, sisters and their husbands and some ‘elders’ who were considered experts in matrimonial matters, accompanying the boy. It was a ‘feast’ for all of them at the girl’s parents expense, with no certainty that negotiations would ultimately ‘succeed’.

As the ladies got busy in talking about the latest on ‘fashion scene’ or new jewellery designs or some other mundane topics, the menfolk engaged themselves probing and assessing the financial assets, especially of the girl’s parents to get an ‘approximate’idea how much dowry could be expected.

Though the boy used to take the liberty of snatching a glimpse of the girl, the latter sat with her head down. Even an occasional ‘stolen’ glance of the boy by the girl was considered unbecoming. This exercise used to be repeated a number of times till a suitable match was found for the girl. It used to be a very depressing exercise for the girl.

But it seems the times have changed altogether now. The girls and boys now prefer to hold these ‘dekho’-each-other-sessions in the lobbies of the hotels or five-star restaurants, depending on the status of the family, especially of the girl. But there are still some who are sticking to the old ways but not necessarily the ‘meetings’ take place at the girlhouse. It could be the other way round also.

Now nobody talks about how versatile the girl is at cooking or embroidery. Rather casual enquiries are made whether the boy can afford a ‘help’ to assist the girl in household chores. Though the boy and the girl now talk about music and movies, the parents unfortunately still continue to evince interest in their respective moveable and immoveable properties and riches; all because dowry still plagues society. Incidentally, my nephew has decided to try his luck through the Internet. I wish him all the best.