MIND GAMES
Thirsty Crowe
Aditya Rishi

Former New Zealand cricketer Martin Crowe is running between the wickets in an empty stadium when his brother, Jeff, joins him at the crease. Jeff: "Brother, what have you been doing here all night?" Martin: "I’ve done a bit of gardening on this pitch and now I’m running on it to review my work." Jeff: "Who told you to nurse this pitch; don’t you know it’s already doctored?" Martin: "Even if it is a dead track, I’ll bring it back to life. These wickets have been the graveyard of our bowlers." "My friend, you can’t kill a dead track," says Navjot Singh Sidhu, Martin’s b`EAte-noir in the commentary box, after he appears on the giant screen. Jeff: "Isn’t he repeating what we have just said?" Martin: "Yes, but when he says it, it is Sidhuism."

Navjot: "I suggest we stop fighting each other because we have a common enemy, Australia, and together we can beat them." Jeff: "Not until they have Ricky Ponting, Mathew Hayden and Adam Gilchrist. I wonder what’s the secret of their energy."

Navjot: "I have heard Ponting has a magic potion for his batsmen and if we steal it, we’ll be as invincible as them." Jeff: "If Ricky has it, where could he hide it?" Martin: "I’ll find out, leave that to me." Before evening, he’s with Ricky. Ricky: "Mate, some Beer fur yea?" "Don’t you have something better, like a magic potion?" Ricky (surprised): "Whoa`85 why, fr`85 from where would I get that kinda thing?" Martin: "Caught ya, just pass me some wine, bring every brand you’ve got and I’ll tell you how old is that."

Ricky pours him various wines. Martin gargles in a small dose from each bottle, pretends as if he is thinking, and then gives a wrong date each time. This goes on all evening till one bottle is left. "You’ve had enough wine fur a dayee, now go home," says Ricky. Martin: "I’m outta here, but first you gotta call a cab, I’m too drunk to drive." Before Ricky returns with the taxi, Martin has just enough time to finish his task. He grabs the last bottle (actually, a 10-gallon pitcher) and gropes for something to transfer its contents. All he finds is a jar.

He draws off a jarful of wine and fills up the pitcher with water. The stolen wine is poured into a plastic bag cleverly concealed under his shirt. Later on, when the wine and water have got thoroughly mixed, he draws off another jarful and again fills up the pitcher with water. Then, Ricky catches him.

Ricky: "You came here for my magic potion, but there’s no such thing." Martin: "Then, what’s the secret of your success?" Ricky: "This pitcher now contains equal quantities of wine and water, but what’s the capacity of this jar?" Martin: "No idea." "As you see, the game is played all in the mind." (We need to give Ricky a reply. Write at The Tribune or adityarishi99@yahoo.co.in)

Sahiban’s phone number will be revealed next week.