LIFE TIES
Food as an elixir of life 
Taru Bahl

MINA was an ambivalent eater. For her, food was needed in order to keep the body in functioning order. She often joked when she saw her thoroughbred Punjabi family dig into delicacies as if they had been underfed for years. Left to herself, she would have been relieved to make do with multivitamin tablets which could substitute for all the dal frys, butter chickens and palak paneers that she was forced to eat. Her siblings could not be converted into health freaks because their tastes were confirmed. They swallowed the leafy salads and low-calorie baked dishes as appetisers and yet demanded the usual butter-soaked main course as a staple meal.

Not that Mina wanted to guard an hour-glass figure, it was just that being so preoccupied being with food nauseated her. The thought of street urchins and rag pickers scooping up leftovers from open bins was enough to put her off food which was too rich and plentiful, perhaps that is why she found her upper middle-class friends’ obsession with gastronomic delights offensive. While she could do nothing to change her friends’ attitude, other than turning down their invites for dinners, with her own family she had succeeded in entering a pact. She would not nag them about the ill-effects of high calorie, cholesterol-ridden food so long as she was allowed to spruce up her own meals without being force-fed into eating what she did not fancy.

This allowed her to strike an association with food which was purely need based. While she was not a bad cook herself, she remained a disinterested food consumer. Never one to enthusiastically try out new eateries or to share recipes excitedly with fellow socialites, she was happy with her ‘ambivalence’ which allowed her to eat as and when hunger pangs struck her. Since here energy levels were high, she knew she her food intake was adequate. When she married Arif, an Afghani whom she met while doing research in the UK, little did she realise that her association with food would get only more intense and this time round she would be unable to set her own terms and conditions. Brought up on a pure non-vegetarian diet, he not only consumed huge quantities but also was a pucca foodie who kept track of the latest restaurants. He loved transacting business over meals.

She was used to working lunches where she could grab a sandwich, eat it as she punched keys on her laptop. There she was, planning six- course meals for her husband and his business clients, sitting with them, making sure that her spouse endorsed the famed Afghan hospitality. A retinue of servants made the task simpler but there was no escaping the sight, smell and presence of food, food and more food in her life. She didn’t mind it at the time, since love overcame all other hurdles, in this case food being the most inconsequential.

Her family back home in India was ecstatic with the new addition in the family. After years, they got a chance to lay down lavish spreads and pamper their daughter the way they deemed fit. So used to being ticked off by Mina, they had all these years taken her stern directive seriously: "Why do you have to show your parental concern and affection by only feeding me, surely you can find other means of expression". Having come full circle, whatever the changed set of circumstances they were happy to see her being more tolerant and forthcoming in their mehman nawazi. Also their son-in-law showed so much interest in what happened in the kitchen that the entire household, especially the womenfolk, turned into his ardent admirers. He would spend long days cooking Afghani specialties with them and then inviting the entire extended family to partake of the food that was specially cooked for them.

For the first time, Mina realised that food could actually bind people, even those from such different backgrounds. Most dinner conversations revolved around food. Even though she could not actively participate in the conversation, she enjoyed the infectious bonhomie that came with something as simple as sharing food. Cooking a dish like mutton became such an elaborate ritual with cousins chipping in, the ladies watching the menfolk holding centrestage and the gentle ribbing and flirting that accompanied the process, which set the mood for the main meal. A simple dinner, with just one or two side-dishes, would become such an enjoyable event with everyone exclaiming that they had never eaten such delicious mutton before. No one would believe that no Afghani herbs or spices had been used, it was just a lot of laughter and togetherness that had gone into making the meal so memorable.

Though Mina was beginning to reassociate with food, the real bonding came when she lost the twins she was carrying. In the household which had geared itself to the arrival of little ones, if the phone had rung constantly advising her mother on what to give the expectant mother in terms of food, now the focus was on helping her recover from the trauma. It was food again which came to her rescue.

The family, especially her mother and husband, nurtured her back to health with the therapeutic balming effect of all the liquid and solid food stuffs that not only took care of her nutritive requirements but also helped her emotionally. For the first time, she realised that the colour of food, its presentation, the combination of particular types of food and the way it was eaten could actually boost your morale, heighten your awareness, calm your nerves and help you connect with those who are dearest to you. While it was fine to eat in order to survive at a purely individual level, it was quite another thing to make the process of eating a group activity. Food could help one find a whole new meaning to life.

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