WEBSIDE HUMOUR
New evidence

The day after a verdict had been entered against his client, the lawyer rushed to the judge’s chambers, demanding that the case be reopened, saying: "I have new evidence that makes a huge difference in my client’s defence."

The judge asked, "What new evidence could you have?"

The lawyer replied, "My client has an extra $10,000, and I just found out about it!"

"Doctor, Doctor, You’ve got to help me — I just can’t stop my hands shaking!"

"Do you drink a lot?"

"Not really — I spill most of it!"

Patient: "Will I survive this risky operation?"

Surgeon: "Yes, I’m absolutely sure you will survive the operation."

Patient: "How can you be so sure?"

Surgeon: "Nine out of 10 patients die in this operation, and yesterday my ninth patient died."

A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department store. He was impressing people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress.

Finally to impress even the sceptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack.

Without missing a beat, he held up both halves of the ‘unbreakable’ comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside."

Four friends were discussing the greatest invention of all times. One said it is fire which gave humanity power over matter.

The second chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space.

The third chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols.

The fourth, a blonde, said it was the thermos bottle. "Why a thermos bottle?" the others asked. "Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer." "Yes, so what?" "Think about it." she said reverently. "That little bottle — how does it know?"

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma