WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Vision power

Soon after their last child left home for college, a husband was resting. Next to him on the couch was his wife with her head in his lap. She carefully removed his glasses.

“You know, honey,” she said sweetly, “Without your glasses, you look like the same handsome young man I married.”

“Honey,” he replied with a grin, “Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too.”

Divine justice

A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed sulphurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognised as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.

“That’s unfair,” he cried. “I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman.”

“Shut up”, barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork.

“Who are you to question that woman’s punishment?”

Serious problem

An elderly man remarks, “You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?”

“When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,” replies his wife, “I look at your picture and the problem disappears.”

“You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?” says the man.

“Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, ‘What other problem can there be greater than this one?”

Moony-eyed

The reception had ended and the newlyweds had just sneaked off to the honeymoon resort. After supper and champagne, the groom retired to the bedroom. But the bride pulled a chair up to the balcony doors and sat there, gazing at the stars.

“Dear,” asked the somewhat impatient husband. “Aren’t you coming to bed?”

“No,” she announced. “My mother told me this was going to be the most beautiful night of my life, and I don’t want to miss a single minute of it.”

Compiled by Sunil Sharma