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At first sight, the book promises to be hugely interesting because it is about being single and how good that sort of life can be. Now who among us does not have single friends from both sexes? A single female friend I have was viewed as some kind of specimen and onlookers related all her oddities to her single status. This kind of response is usually associated with women; single men are, on the whole, luckier. For one, they are believed to be eligible for a long, long time. For another, language does them a great service. They are called "bachelors" as against "spinsters". Indeed, the view from the vantage point of those who are married has always been one of suspicion, consequent pity and final derision. When the question is posed: "Are you married?", any answer other than "Yes" invites scorn. But Bhaichand Patel explains in his tongue-in-cheek Introduction how none of his contributors have any sob stories to tell. They are a perfectly happy lot, neither resigned to their existence nor desperate to change their status in society. Chasing the Good Life: On Being Single is a collection of essays on "singledom" by 28 men and women, some better known than the others. I, obviously, settled first for Khushwant Singh’s experiences of being single following his wife’s demise. Khushwant’s typical ability to shock even in the face of recounting the ordinariness of existence is incomparable: "Right on top of my list of the joys of living alone is the freedom to fart without being embarrassed." He then goes on to describe the varieties of breaking wind at the cost of losing focus and relevance. Next in priority is the freedom to strut around naked in his flat. Among the pleasures he lists, I quite endorse his disinclination to be a "doston ka dost". As a writer, he simply does not have the time to keep friendships going, to meet people and share their problems. Accordingly, he has a signboard outside his front door saying: "Do not ring the bell unless you are expected." This reminds me of Dante’s vision of hell inscribed on its infernal gate in The Divine Comedy: "Beware all ye who enter here." Inspired by Khushwant Singh’s candid forthrightness, I feel won over by the arguments of the "singleton" camp. Married couples cannot deny the "side-effects" of being wedded. Surely they must want the joys their "binary" counterparts take for granted such as waking up when fancy takes them rather than with the terse voice of their partner demanding morning tea, or the satisfaction of entering a dry, clean bathroom instead of the wet, steamy compartment littered with damp towels, the eternal despair of anguished housewives. As Asha Narang Spaak philosophically puts it, love dies in the bathroom. And for those engaged in any kind of mental persuasion, can they ever recover from the departure of those profound thoughts from their minds, those Wordsworthian "emotions recollected in tranquillity" that get disturbed at the slightest sound of the partner’s uncaring voice? There are contributors like Dolly Thakore, however, who still seem unable to let go the memories of their divorced husbands. Despite her freedom, the "nostalgia returns in moments of stress and disappointment, in moments of hearing a good piece of music, reading a good book, disastrous headlines on TV or newspapers, seeing a controversial film. . . . I miss seeking a second opinion on a haircut, piece of jewellery or the colour of a dress." I think Urvashi Butalia makes an otherwise serious (but accurate) comment in a hilarious and quite charming book: "Singleness isn’t really all it’s cracked up to be. Sometimes it is merely the simple circumstance that for a variety of reasons your life takes a certain path, you make certain choices and you find yourself in a certain state of being." No doubt, "marital
bliss", as they call it, is taken to be the overriding discourse in
societies all over the world so that those outside marriage are
considered outside normalcy. I realise it had been a long time
since I read a book on so light-hearted a subject written by some
well-known and respected figures in the literary world.
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