The spectator gallery is under construction at the Government Museum as the city gets ready for its tale to be told in light and sound, reports Parbina Rashid

City Beautiful is now all set to have its own light and sound show. Well, before you ask what historical facts this young city has to offer, let us set the record straight. This light and sound project, which is the brainchild of the India Tourism Development Corporation (ITDC) and is being executed by CITCO, is going to focus on the building of this 55-year-old history as well as its art and architecture. After all, Chandigarh has Le-Corbusier to boast of.

French concept

Son et lumiere is a word, which is soon going to be part of our vocabulary. A Google search on this French word yields a mine of information on how the authorities concerned of historical places like the Red Fort and the Purana Quila in Delhi and the Golkonda Fort in Hyderabad have been using such shows to attract tourists.

It has proved to be quite an experience for both domestic and foreign tourists to watch hundreds of years of history coming alive through the dramatic interplay of sound and light at the grand historical venues.

The venue selected for the purpose is the Government Museum and Art Gallery in Sector 10, which has been witnessing a flurry of activity with the construction work for a spectators’ gallery going on in full swing. Artist Narender Thakur and his team are giving the final touches to the murals on the walls of the gallery.

This Rs 160-lakh worth project has taken up an area of 100 square meters between the main museum building and the administrative block and can hold 150 persons per show.

City heart

“The museum was selected as the venue because it represents the heart of the city and specially with Leisure Valley nearby, this area can be developed into the cultural centre of the city, which can boost tourism,” says Arvind Malhotra, General Manager, Tourism, CITCO.

The 45-minute-long pre-recorded show will depict Chandigarh since its inception with particular emphasis on its architecture and tourist spots. “Chandigarh does not have much of a historical background. So we are planning to focus on its high points, including those rare ones like the huge mural at the entrance of the Legislative Assembly building, which may not have been seen by many of us living in the city,” says Malhotra. Guess what?

CITCO has roped in Kiran Kher to be the voice of Goddess Chandi, one of the three main characters of the show. The other two characters are Corbusier and Sukhna.

The excitement is almost palpable at the venue where the team of artists is busy giving finishing touches to the murals. They have incorporated all the true Chandigarh elements like the open hand, a few Nek Chand figures to the spectators’ gallery.

V.N. Singh, Director of the museum, sees it as an extended activity of the museum, which is likely to attract more and more visitors. “Though we have only provided the venue, the light and sound show will help us to enliven this place,” he says.

Divergent views

But is Chandigarh ready for such a show? The response is definitely positive, except some disagreement about the selection of the venue. Most vocal amongst them is our master sculptor Shiv Singh. “The idea is good but the venue is totally wrong. Agreed that our museum has open space but it should be kept open for displaying sculptures, to make the surrounding visually appealing, rather than raising structures like a spectators’ gallery which is marring its beauty,” he says. They should have, instead, chosen Leisure Valley as the venue, he adds.

Architecturally speaking, Aditya Prakash, one of the pioneer architects of the city, is not unhappy about this latest addition. “I have seen the gallery being made. It will not be looking bad if they do not make it a closed kind of a structure. And the idea of having a light and sound show is good because we have some architectural marvels to boast of,” he says.

However, apart from the aesthetic factor, what has been bogging down Shiv Singh’s mind is the security angle. “The museum closes at 5 pm. After so many people coming for the shows, who will take care of the sculptures displayed in the open? There is bound to be vandalism,” he fears.

To put his fears to rest, we confront the authorities concerned with the security angle. “There will be a separate entry for visitors and we will put up a kind of a fence to keep the spectators within the demarcated area,” says Malhotra.

Sound advice

“Let’s be positive about the project and take it as an add-on to the museum,” comes a piece of advice from theatre personality Neelam Mansingh, who is excited about the show. “Let’s hope that the show is done with sensitivity and it should be able to provide information as well as entertainment. If it is a successful at that, then the museum will definitely benefit from it.” A piece of ‘sound’ advice indeed!

King Vs Badshah
Smriti Sharma

The year 2007 is proving itself to be quite an eventful year. Millions of Bollywood fans, some happy some unhappy, were still trying to guzzle down ‘Ash-Abhi’ matrimonial alliance gossip and now we have an all-new revelation. Baadshah of Bollywood Shah Rukh Khan, the ‘Don’ has replaced Amitabh Bachchan in India’s popular game show, Kaun Banega Crorepati. If Big B was reverence personified, SRK is all the ‘fun and energy’, something that goes with youngsters extremely well.

What’s new?

Of course, Shahrukh Khan is expected to surpass the benchmark that Big B had set and possibly fix new ones as well. On the whole, the new show is a mix-n-match of the good old stuff and some fresh ones. If the charismatic baritone of Big B is missing on the show, we have King Khan’s unique witty style of addressing the audience that interestingly includes ‘boys and girls’, apart from Devion or Sajjano and ladies and gentlemen. The format of the game show is the same as in KBC part 1 and 2 with minor changes - the set has been changed and the background is red now. When some one asked King Khan to explain the colour change, he chuckled, “Bachchan is like a sky for us that’s why the colour was blue but main is desh ka lal hoon (I am this country’s darling) so the colour is red”.

Dress Code

If Big B had impressed everyone by his Armani suits and jackets, Shahrukh will be seen supporting outfits designed by none other than his director friend Karan Johar. The look is simple yet stylish, a true representation of the smiling Khan.

Well, all said and done, the audience holds the ultimate stake in today’s entertainment world. So what is the verdict of the people on the make over of KBC?

Fan talk

Die-hard fans of Sharukh, Richa and Navjot, Public Relations executives, chirp together, “There couldn’t have been a better opportunity to watch Shahrukh again on the small screen after all these years.”

“Four days a week is quite a bait for us to be glued to our TV sets,” adds Navjot, who can’t get her eyes off the screen when King Khan is there. On comparisons between the two stalwarts, “Amitabh Bachhan has a glorified image, a different screen presence. But you can’t just compare the two; both have a unique style.”

Richa sums up the whole experiences as just, ‘wow’. When he says, boys and girls don’t go away, I feel as if he is talking to me. The connectivity is there. Moreover, Shahrukh’s sense of humour is simply unmatchable.

But for Rinku Kalia, a singer, it’s a different ball game. Even being a Shahrukh fan didn’t help her relate Khan to the show. “I personally feel Amitabh was better as an anchor. Somewhere, .”

Signature style

Gorkhi, an Assistant Director with Channel Punjab and a an actor himself, feels, “Both have their own signature styles and at the same time they know their work. Where Shahrukh has reached today, Amitabh at his age was still struggling for but Shahrukh is surely going to be a legend like Amitabh when he reaches that stage at least in the show.

On this one, city’s very own comedy king Jaspal Bhatti has a different opinion to share. “When Don was released, it was well received mostly by youth while the old Don was still very popular with all others. But the KBC has divided the audience in households. The situation is the same in my family as well.

Show goes on

Shahrukh is more popular with the kids. No doubt, the standards that Amitabh has set are too high for anyone to imitate. If Shahrukh remains Shahrukh on the show, he is bound to be a hit and if at all he tries to copy Big B, it won’t be in his favour.

Well Baadshah or Big B, the truth is that the show is certainly bound to set the TRP’s soaring and that is precisely what the producers are trying to pull off. So keep watching, the debate is on!

Date with Dates
Charanjit Singh

Come New Year and everyone looks for the New Year calendar and diary. Despite the advent of the on-line communications, calendars continue to be excellent communication and promotional tool.  It makes for a good corporate gift at the beginning of a New Year to reach out to their customers; calendars being the most cost-effective way to keep the message alive for all the 365 days of the year, says Deepak Khanna of Chandika Press Limited who has printed calendars of various sizes and shapes at their hi-tech printing press.  The catch, he adds, is that the calendar should have a unique theme, attractive design, and should be well produced.


From amongst the personalised thematic presentations on calendar this year, Chandigarh Tourism’s 12-page wall calendar is an adorable piece of art with a selection of choicest shots of cityscapes; a completely professional and pleasant presentation quite departure from the usual official stuff.

 “This is a novel initiative on the pattern of Edinburgh city.

The feedback is very good. We may even sell copies in the market through our new society STEPS. We are sending it to key travel operators and agencies,” says UT Tourism Director Vivek Atray.


Amongst the unique experiments in calendars had been an entirely offbeat design of Mobera Systems with their 12-page desk calendar in which every one of their 70-odd members of the employees, referred to as Mobera family members, have contributed in terms of photogarphs, illustrations, and whacky captions. “It is a colourful and innovative expression of Mobera Systems’ corporate philosophy and exciting work culture”, says Anupama Arya, Director Mobera Systems.  

 “We had given a challenging brief to have an all-encompassing theme to project the corporate vision and mission, as well as inculcate a sense of belonging amongst our employees,” adds Puneet Vatsayan of Mobera Systems.

 The Trident Group known for its exquisite and aesthetic corporate communication has focussed on 12 famous educational institutes of India in its desk calendar with the corporate take on the theme encapsulated in the words “Great institutions lay the foundation for a great nation”.  According to the Group’s communication manager Nidhi Arora, the objective of the calendar is to also to project the Group’s efforts of promoting Takhshila, the Centre of Excellence of the Trident Group set up in Ludhiana,  an institution set up for the internal training programmes as well as imparting technical training to plus-two students for placement in the Group companies.

On the sets

Maya Academy of Advanced Cinematics (MAAC) features the graphics from their award winning animation movies “to engage our students in 41 MAAC centres and feel proud of the work done by their fellow animators, as well as highlight various personal attributes like patience, teamwork, strength, truth, etc. that contribute to the creation of exciting animation work”, says Naveen Gupta, MAAC’s COO.

 The ABC Paper’s six-sheeter wall calendar has reproduced some brilliant nature’s shots along with beautiful verses of Robert Frost, to accentuate the corporate’s mission to be “an environment conscious organisation”, feels its managing director, Pavan Khaitan.

Worth the cost

All these and many varieties in printed formats continue to be popular medium with maximum takers in the rural and semi-urban areas, where the pictures of the gods and goddesses are all time favourites for all types of local and regional brands, with diverse design options offered by the suppliers of ready-made calendars from Sivakasi, Mumbai and Kolkata.  Despite a little slow down in gifting and corporate promotions in the past few years, the wholesale market in New Delhi is again looking up and this year has seen an approximate growth of 15 to 20 per cent in the sales this year.

 “Calendar is a costly investment with a 12 page desk-top customised calendar can cost anything between Rs.100 to 150, yet there had been definite increase in the production of thematic personalised calendars by the corporates in the tricity, feels Kapil Khanna of Chandika Press Ltd.

Gem of a trade
Sunaina & Rachna

PRECIOUS MOMENTS: Kamla sitting outside Hotel Aroma never fails to attract women
PRECIOUS MOMENTS: Kamla sitting outside Hotel Aroma never fails to attract women. — Photo by Pradeep Tewari

Kamla often sits at by the table with her daughter Pooja in a corner outside a florist shop by Aroma in city’s Sector 22. Pearl, emerald, ruby, sapphire, jade stone…she has them all! Her table is almost every passing by women’s stop. On an ordinary table she sells stones so elegant that you develop instant admiration. Beautiful danglers, necklaces, bangles, attract a lot of popped up eyeballs. The Victorian designs she sells are extremely enticing and attract a lot of people.

Lean and tall Kamla hails from Gujarat. She is a mother of four. Before settling at this business she had to pass through an unfulfilling phase of life. She had tried her luck at different businesses, “I used to sell cushion covers, bed covers, sofa covers and curtains. It did not yield much, we had to survive with limited resources.” She further adds, “The royal designs never go out of trend. They have always stayed in fashion. I made profit out of it and decide to continue with it.” Precious and semi-precious stones have always attracted women to their elegance and brilliance.

Kamla’s husband a wholesale merchant of semi-precious stones brings jewellery from Jaipur and Khambad. The basic material comes from Kolkata and is polished and processed at Jaipur. Customers often doubt her authenticity. They question whether the stones she sells are real or manufactured. “I often leave jewellery at their houses where they get it checked by jewellers.” Her stones have never failed the test yet. The material used is 60 percent silver.

Maintaining quality standards is not an easy job. Sometimes she has to avail of bank loans to keep her business running. Getting an ideal page for sale is another challenge in itself. Thankfully her table is at a site that attracts a good deal of customers. To her the owner of the hotel is a benefactor, “Manmohan sahib and his wife are very kind. They let me have this place free of cost. They have helped me in troubled times.” Kamla once faced a heavy loss of around Rs 50,000 due to a false purchase.

From a simple housewife to inconspicuous cushion seller to an admired jewellery seller, Kamla has broken many bounds. Not highly educated women, she is an example of struggle and success. Although she is not a business tycoon yet her story has a lot to take inspiration from. She set out with literally no money in hand; today she makes profit enough to live comfortably. Kamla plans to have a roof on her table soon. Following her lead the rest of the womenfolk can also start their own business to add to their family income. As for Kamla we only hope her to sit besides the table with her sparkling jewellery for us to buy.

From Rags to Riches
Smriti Sharma

His is a perfect ‘rags to the riches’ story. From being a non-descript singer in the city for six years to finally creating a niche for himself as a singer in the Hindi film industry, Krishna Beura has been through all. Voice behind the popular club and lounge numbers, Ishq Khudai, Rabba, Dum Ali Ali et al, calls himself lucky for the fact that he didn’t have to struggle for his first break but then ‘the real sputter these days begin after your first song come out’ he articulates.

Back to basics, starting from singing at police functions and other social gatherings to later graduating to sing for two local bands, this lad, hailing from Orissa, has spent his formative years in Chandigarh before moving to Dubai to sing in Hotel Sheraton in the evenings and working as a radio jockey for a FM station.

After shifting his base to Mumbai, this aspiring singer started doing voiceovers, transcriptions and scripting for DreamWorks and Walt Disney’s animation series such as Shrek 2, Popeye, Madagascar Shark Tale and Noddy.

Krishna, a die hard fan of Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, first approached Sanjoo Baba (Sanjay Dutt) with his songs and to his surprise not only he liked his singing style but also gave him a chance to sing in the film, Rudraksh. From then on his journey as a singer began in the tinsel town.

The talented singer who happens to be a product of the Department of Indian Theatre, Panjab University, already has more than 17 songs to his credit in just three years time in the industry.

One wonders why is it that we don’t get to see much of Krishna splashing around, a practice very common in music industry? “Blame it on the cruel industry or the ever-increasing channels or the singers”. His upcoming untitled first solo album being released by the Tips, might offer some respite to his fans. Though he has been around for quite a while, Krishna has already tasted his share of bitterness in the field when Himmesh Reshmaiyya, took all the credit for the hit number Aap Ki Kashish from the movie Ashiq Banaya Aapne, a song which was both sung by him and Himmesh.

True to Bollywood style, after settling all their old scores now, though Krishna claims there never was anything that serious and all this was created by media reports, is in fact singing for Himmesh, in an upcoming film, Teri Yaad Sath Rahe.

A firm believer in destiny, he has also sung for Gurdas Maan-starrer Waris Shah. Next in line is Namaste London, Anamika, Abbas Mastan’s untitled where in for the first time he would be singing an item number of a different kind (as he claims!). Finally this Punjabi-speaking Oriya aspires to sing for A. R. Rehman one day. In his own words, pulling out the famous quote Jine Lahore Nahi Vekhaya oh Jamaya nahi, he says, a singer who doesn’t sing for Rehman in his lifetime hasn’t sung for anyone. Interestingly, he has already sung his first Hollywood collaboration, a single for Sandeep Chauta with Hollywood’s famous J. Oliver.

Here’s wishing this lucky star, more songs!

Musical notes

STANDING TALL: Kedi Dhindsa is back once again with afoot tapping album Yaar Rusda
STANDING TALL: Kedi Dhindsa is back once again with afoot tapping album Yaar Rusda

UK based Kebi Dhindsa has come up with a foot-tapping pulsating album Yaar Rusda. Kebi formed his band KB & The Gang, in the mid-nineties when he released his debut album Open Your Mind to instant acclaim. Shaan Bhangra became a firm favourite for its heart-rending theme reminiscing the homeland of Punjab, and spurred on by that success the band were nominated at the prestigious annual Asian Song and Dance Awards. Up against fierce competition and barely 12 months after conception they were swept forward by the fervour and were crowned Best New Band 1995.

The group disbanded in 2001 and Kebi Dhindsa continued his career as a solo artist. Yaar Rusda is a very Folk based album with urban treatment. Kebi has used folk based idea’s to write all the songs and the musical arrangements have been done by some of the best arrangers in the UK.

The attractive video is done by Shane Davey of Davey Inc, a new and upcoming director behind some of the best video’s in recent times, including Alive’s new video.

The video track is a hip-hop mix. This track will be a must for everyone who likes and loves music. Rest all songs are again reflecting the UK Golden touch to the album and after a long time music lovers will have someone who will relate to them musically with new sounds. The lyrics are fresh and new which gives the album a new look. — D.P.

Bhabhi makes a come back

Dolly Sohi the charming and Strong Saroj is back on Bhabhi!! Saroj returns as a spiritual guide for the Chopra Khandaan, which is falling apart due to growing tension brewing between Nehal and Megha. Saroj’s exit from the show happened when she took up ‘sanyas’ and gave up on all worldly attachments.

It is such a co-incidence or as one would you call divine intervention, that just when the writers of the show were itching to get back Saroj’s character on the show, that Dolly Sohi planned her trip to India. Dolly readily took up the offer since Saroj’s character is very close to her heart and she cherishes every moment of her days spent on the sets of Bhabhi.

In fact even after her marriage and shift to Canada; she has maintained her relationship with the producers and the writer. She is immensely excited to come back on the show. — TNS

Sreedhara Bhasin

Since I have had the mind-racking task of composing employment advertisements for placement in newspapers lately – I started to look closely at the word so often used in ads – “Wanted.” We think a lot before adding qualifications to the word “wanted.” I started thinking - if I were writing an ad on behalf of our dear city – what virtues would I be looking for as qualifiers?

Following this train of thought – I began composing an ad. It sort of ran like this –

“Wanted – Good citizens for the City Beautiful. Candidates must have the qualifications listed below.

Must like open spaces, green parks and clean water.

Must be civic-minded drivers and willing to share the road with others.

Must be very frugal when it comes to littering.

Must not think that it is alright to train the ducks at Sukhna lake to eat white bread and kalakaand.

If in the habit of driving a two-wheeler, must not labour under the impression that he/she is immortal.

Must not try out all the ringtones in full volume in Shatabdi express en route to Delhi.

Must have a thorough understanding of the difference between horse-power and pedalling power.

Must possess grace and poise – especially when it comes to forming a queue.

Must have good inter-personal skills when it comes to berating shopkeepers.

Must be ready to accept defeat when someone else has snatched the parking spot that just opened up.

Must leave the Rose Garden for Roses and refrain from using the railings for drying pajamas.

Must be content with the imbalance in ratio between book shops and bangle shops.

Must possess warm head-gear and not just for fashion.

Must have some knowledge of noise pollution and how honking can contribute to it.

Must strive hard to stop the city from turning into a concrete jungle.

Above all, must be innovative thinkers to lead the city into the next generation.

Candidates with Kindness and fellow-feeling will be given special preference.

Any Takers?

A Date with you
Kandla Nijhowne

When the winter winds doth blow, we instinctively seek foods that will help generate warmth in our bodies. Shoals of vociferous vendours emerge in our lanes, beckoning us towards their tempting display/s of peanuts, rewri, gajjak, dates and featherlight slabs of puffed rice enrobed in melted jaggery. (Did I miss anything?!) Most of these are high in sugars and calories so even though we eat them because we enjoy eating them, the bonus is that they help thaw our insides! Of the lot, the dates go back a long way in history, and the date-palm is probably the most ancient cultivated tree in the world. It has been the staple food of the Middle-East for thousands of years. Dates are particularly high in Magnesium and Phosphorus and they pack quite a power-punch of other nutrients as well. And the best part is, they contain no fat, no cholesterol and no sodium. They can be covered in chocolate, or, stuffed with an almond or candied citrus- peel. In the Islamic countries they prepare a sparkling date juice (a sort of a non-alcoholic version of champagne) for special occasions and religious times as the fasting month of Ramadan. I don’t exactly profess a love dates, finding them too sweet, but have expanded their use in the following favourites….

Date Bars

½ cup butter
1 cup powdered sugar
3 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
½ tsp salt
1½ cup pitted & chopped dates
1 cup walnuts, chopped


Cream together the butter, sugar and vanilla, shortly adding the eggs. In a separate bowl, sieve together the flour, baking powder and salt. Blend these dry ingredients into the creamed mixture, followed by the dates. Lastly, stir in the walnuts. Pour into a greased baking tray and bake in a pre-heated oven at 350ºC for 25 minutes. Cool slightly and cut into bars with a sharp knife.

Date and Walnut Loaf

225 gm dates, pitted & chopped
? tsp soda bi-carb
150 ml. boiling water
75 gm butter
75 gm powdered sugar
1 egg
225gm flour
2 ½ tsp  baking powder
75 gm chopped walnuts


Put the dates and the soda in a saucepan and pour the boiling water over them. Beat the sugar and butter together till light and fluffy. Add the egg and whisk for a few more minutes. Sift together the flour and baking powder and stir into the creamed mixture. Add the walnuts and lastly, the dates.

Pre-heat the oven to 350ºC and grease and line a loaf-tin or cake tin. Pour the batter into the prepared tin and bake for about 1¼ hours.

A salute to love

Nikhil Advani’s multi-starrer Salaam-E-Ishq opened on January 25 at Batra, Fun Republic and Suraj Panchkula, has caught everybody’s fancy. The media attention was tremendous and the film provides good entertainment right from the fashion fraternity to actors to an average movie buff.

Salaam-E-Ishq has six episodic love stories that strike beautifully with this film. Nikhil Advani, the directorial prodigy who rose to heights of fame with Kal Ho Na Ho has dared to blend six different love stories to provide entertainment. He has yet again proved his directorial abilities. The film reaches the acme of perfection with its heart-warming love stories, sterling cinematography and beautiful outdoor locations.

Salaam-E-Ishq metaphors the love stories that are well brought to life on silverscreen by Salman Khan, Anil Kapoor, John Abraham, Akshaye Khanna, Govinda, Sohail Khan, Priyanka Chopra, Ayesha Takia, Vidya Balan, Isha Koppikar and Shannon Esrechowitz. The casting is perfect too. Nikhil Advani extracts superb performances from the ensemble cast but needless to add, Salmaan Khan steals the thunder. Other stars also create a good impact.

Sameer has penned the lyrics for music composer Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy. Each of the songs of Salaam-E-Ishq boasts of high quality music.

Parzania brings laurels

Rahul Dholakia’s critically acclaimed Parzania opened on Friday at Fun Republic, Manimajra. The film went to win laurels at Pusan International Film Festival, Palm Springs Film Festival and International Film Festival of Kerala. Parzania starring Nasseruddin Shah, Sarkika, Corin Nemec and Parzan Dastur depicts the suffering of a Parsi couple. It is based on a true incident and is beautifully set against the backdrop of the 2002 communal violence in Gujarat. — D.P.

Living life is an art

Dear Renee, I am a 23-year-old woman who is going through constant bouts of depression. There are times I feel I am completely fine, but at times I am completely low and down in the dumps as you would call it. I feel I can look at my own-self objectively and feel very sad. There are moments I can relate to, of extreme happiness and yet other moments of complete lack of joy. Why am I like this? I had a very nice boyfriend for some time but seeing my constant change in mind he also did not last too long. Now I am wondering how I can improve on myself. I feel life is running me by and none of my friends seem to tolerate me. Even if they do I feel they do not understand me completely. I feel absolutely miserable, please help me to find an answer.

Jyotika Tanvir

My dear girl, you seem to be confused. Now what is this confusion all about? You are far too young to allow such seriousness to take over your life completely. Learn to just chill out. Living life is an art. A lot of times we end up playing the patterns of our parents as we are growing up. That seems to be the only way of life that we seem to have learnt during our developing years. Unconsciously we live our lives the way we have seem our parents do it, as we seem to know no better. Copying adult behaviour is a childhood pattern, which later on the mind starts accepting as a habit. Do try and go back into your childhood years and think whether anything like thus is affecting your life. Also I feel you are lonely somewhere deep inside. Look for a friend with whom you can share your inner feelings. You just need to unwind and have some fun. Do not allow sadness to take over. Life has too much to offer. Just go for it.

I am a 35-year-old woman with a passion for traveling. My husband and my family think I am quite crazy since I have constantly wanted to be on the move. Earlier, during my school and college days I used to do a lot of my traveling in groups in school and college trips. But ever since I have been married for the past 8 years, life seems to have come to a standstill. Each time I want to go somewhere my husband creates this big scene about how I am running away from my responsibilities. How I am not looking after my little girl who is two years old and frankly according to me quite happy to be with a grand parents for a few days without me. If I tell him to have all of us for a holiday be is still not agreeable as he hates traveling. I feel totally claustrophobic and sometimes feel I’m losing my sanity I don’t move out at all. Please help.

Nona Walia, Chandigarh

It seems you have the travel bug strong in you. Well, sounds interesting, frankly there is no need to feel so dejected about a quality that can be so positively tuned on. Your husband perhaps is just a little insecure about your behaviour and would prefer to have you rooted at home, this is just a very typically male thing, don’t worry too much about it. If you are so serious about holidaying that it is actually affecting your whole personality just change your attitude. Take charge of your life. Be tactfully convincing with your husband telling him that you need these time to time breathers from the monotony of the humdrum everyday life. Also try and explain to him that if you all travel together it will definitely promote family bonding. Travel is a great learning experience for a child. Watching new places and new cultures is the best way to learn. So work a little harder at it if it is of such great importance to you. Next time you want to travel give your husband some good positive inputs about holidaying and see how it works.

37-year-old man who is still single though I am in a relationship with a girl for the past six years. Till now it has been a wonderful relationship. She is a lovely girl from a good family, warm and affectionate and I have no reason to complain. But now the dilemna has begun as she thinks that it is high time that we got married. Although I feel very strongly for her, each time she brings up the subject of marriage I seem to shirk from the thought I love my level of freedom. I have seen my friends losing their personalities after getting married and I feel something like that could happen to me. I am afraid she will leave me if I refuse to marry her and yet I feel hesitant to commit. Can you help me resolve my conflicting feeling.

Vikram Sharma, Panchkula

C’mon young man, you are having a typical reaction to a situation. Just because you feel your friends are not the same guys after marrying does not mean you will go through the same experience. There are no hard and fast rules to any situations at all. Marriage is a social situation and it is only natural that your girlfriend is looking for a commitment after all these years. Do have a heart to heart conversation with her. Tell her your fears and apprehensions. I’m sure she will make you feel comfortable about the situation, if you have lasted out six years together there is a very good chance that you make good partners in a marriage. We never loose our freedom through relationships as the freedom is an inherent part of our nature. If you have a well-developed self-esteem and sense of self worth, no one can shake your personality. Your making a commitment of course is entirely your decision, but please do not allow unnecessary fears and insecurities to cloud it.

Rush in your queries to Renee at  or care of Lifestyle, The Tribune, Sector 29-C, Chandigarh

Health tip of the day

Weight bearing exercises create tension in the muscles and bones and the body responds by increasing bone density.   These exercises are useful in women particularly during menopause when they start losing bone mass.

Dr Ravinder Chadha

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