Interview intelligence
Manners pay, not mannerisms
I.M. Soni

Youngsters aspiring for good jobs and bright careers try hard to cultivate their personality. Often, their concept of personality is flawed. They equate it with a polished exterior. Hence, they follow the current craze in fashion and begin to think that they have developed a personality.

Fashion and personality are two different things. The former is the art and science of ‘being seen.’ The latter is the art and science of ‘being.’ The former depends on ‘looks’; the latter on ‘outlook.’

By following the former, you can become fashionable and modern, yet remain untouched by modernity.

Personality is the total you. It is a balanced, harmonious blend of your qualities and characteristics. It includes the physical but does not exclude the emotional, intellectual, mental, educational, spiritual and 
religious dimensions.

It is this ‘total’ which either wins you a job, or makes you lose it. It is this which ensures you a lasting, lucrative career or makes you an also-ran.

It is this which makes a magnetic, explosive person who has a halo around him. Or makes you a pigmy, a small package for any organisation.

Another myth that youngsters get stuck in pertains to mannerisms. The quality or state of being a person.

A mannerism is an affected or exaggerated adherence to a particular manner. It is a small window which shows what you are not. Mannerisms are the appurtenances which you pick up as a magnet picks up filings. But whereas the magnet dominates the situation, mannerisms may grow so pointed that even a genial personality may become warped by them.

You may develop a stammer, a nervous tic, a sudden shyness. Or you may be given to hitching up your trousers, shrugging your shoulders, wrinkling your nose, or kissing the cuff. Or making a remark like “You understand?”

A candidate is set for an important interview. He is intelligent and quick on the uptake. He has had a hair cut, his clothes are well-brushed and ironed. His shoes shine like
twin mirrors.

Yet, when the crucial moment comes, he either forgets to shut the door behind him and says, “Good morning” in place of “Good afternoon.”

Many mannerisms mar your good manners, without your knowing it. You pay the price. One who puts up a show of artificial confidence, betrays himself by breaking his finger joints right under the gaze of a keen-eyed interviewer.

Another keeps tapping his shoes under the table as if he is unconsciously playing to an invisible musical instrument.

Many young girls, intelligent and smart, are given to adjusting their dupatta time and again, a sign of unnecessary edginess. When the interviewer notices the mannerism, they blush scarlet.

Artificiality shows itself in contradiction, too. The body language betrays a ‘yes’ to a question but the verbal answer is a ‘no’.

That is why being true to yourself is the greatest asset. The most impressive and effective personality is he who has no affectations, no need to watch himself through other’s eyes.

His absorption in his work has the fascination of truth. He has built for himself a zone of silence and aloneness which the world is chary and intruding upon.

Such a person has no occasion to think in terms of success and failure. It is left to lesser ones to keep up with the Joneses.

Mannerisms are personality quirks, not assets. They divert other peoples’ mind from your real plus points. Fine manners, however, leave a more lasting impression than a beautiful face.

The former binds, the latter only attracts.