WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Parental rules

A priest at a parochial school wanted to point out the proper behaviour for church. He was trying to elicit from the youngsters, rules that their parents might give before taking them to a nice restaurant. “Don’t play with your food,” one second grader cited. “Don’t be loud,” said another, and so on...

“And what rule do your parents give you before you go out to eat?” the priest inquired of one little boy. Without batting an eye, the child replied, “Order something cheap.”

Strict count

One day after school, a kid ran into the house waving a paper in the air. “Hey, mom, great news. There were only three mistakes in my maths homework,” he announced. “You made one, dad made one and I made one.”

Good business

Sally, a business woman was driving home from one of her business trip when she saw an elderly woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car and sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a pink bag on the seat next to Sally.

“What in bag?” asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the white bag and said, “It’s a box of chocolates. I got it for my husband”.

The old woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: “Good trade.”

Plus point

A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application. The executive begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every job he has ever held. “I must say,” says the executive, “your work history is terrible. You’ve been fired from every job.” “Yes,” says the man.

“Well,” continues the executive, “there’s not much positive in that.”

“Hey!” says the guy as he pokes the application. “At least I’m not a quitter.”

Compiled by Sunil Sharma