WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Sacred shot

Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, a priest and three other men of the cloth swapped their clerical garb for polos and khakis and time out on the golf course.

After several really horrible shots, their caddy asked, "You guys wouldn’t be priests by any chance?" "Actually, yes, we are," one cleric replied. "How did you know?" "Easy," said the caddy, "I’ve never seen such bad golf and such clean language."

In passing

A commercial traveller was passing through a small town when he came upon a huge funeral procession. "Who died?" he asked a nearby local. "I’m not sure," replied the local, " but I think it’s the one in the coffin."

"What is your name?" was the first thing she asked the new guy. "John," the new guy replied. She scowled, "Look... I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name.

"It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only... Smith, Jones, Baker ...that’s all.

"I am to be referred to only as Mrs Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?" The new guy sighed, "Darling... my name is John Darling." "Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is...."

A woman woke her husband one night and said, "There’s a burglar in the kitchen eating my home-made steak and kidney pie." "Oh dear," said her husband, "Who shall I call, police or ambulance?"

A man and his wife go to a restaurant. The waiter goes to their table and asks for their order. The man says, "I’ll have a steak, and make it really rare."

"But sir, what about the mad cow?" asked the waiter. The man replied, "Oh! She’ll order herself."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma