WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Christmas gift

An old lady in her eighties found that shopping for Christmas gifts had become too difficult, so she decided to send cheques to everyone instead. She wrote, "Buy your own present" on each card and mailed them early. She enjoyed the usual flurry of family festivities. Only after Christmas did she find the gift cheques on her desk,`A0which she had forgotten to enclose.

"Mr Clark, I have reviewed this case carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week." "That’s very generous, your honour," the husband said. "And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself."

Two men went into a pub, ordered two beers, took some sandwiches out of their packs and started to eat them. "You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner. The two men stopped, looked at each other and then swapped their sandwiches.

A young woman went into a bank to withdraw some money. For security purposes the cashier asked her if she could identify herself. She opened her handbag and took out a small mirror, looked into it and said, "Yes, it’s me".

I stopped at a fast food restaurant recently. I was fascinated by a sign which offered fat-free French fries. I decided to give them a try. I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a basket of fries from the fryer which were dripping with fat. He filled a bag with these fries and put them in my order.

"Just a minute!" I said. ‘Those aren’t fat free." "Yes, they are. We only charge for the potatoes, the fat is free."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma