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Corrupt awards
Jaspal Bhatti

THE Maharashtra government has imposed a complete ban on its employees accepting cash awards by private trusts and foundations. It thinks this step may help in eradicating corruption. But do the policy-makers think that a corrupt officer is dependent only on petty cash of few thousands or a lakh? As a matter of fact every government employee should be entitled to accept daily cash awards to legalise and infuse respect in the corrupt system. Some special awards should be instituted to keep the morale of the government employees up.

Golden obstacle award: Annual cash award of Rs 5 lakh should be given to the employee, who creates the most innovative obstacle in the smooth running system.

Snail of the month: Rs 1 lakh cash award should be given to the laziest person of the month. An employee, who by mistake clears even one file may be under the pressure from his boss, will not be entitled for this award.

Dillydally award: A government employee, who most tactfully and successfully postpones every instruction or order given by his seniors in a particular day will be entitled to this cash award of Rs 10,000.

File disappearing award: Any official, who makes the most important file disappear from the section and doesn’t bring it back till the appropriate bribes exchange hands, will be given this prestigious cash award.

Objection of the month: The clerk, who invents and raises the most irritating objection on the file, will be entitled to receive a cash award of Rs 25,000.

The jury should constitute of suspended, terminated or ungracefully retired government officers. Their decision will not be challenged on flimsy grounds like they, too, accepted bribes, while giving these cash awards.