WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Great climate

At the urging of his doctor, John moved to Arizona. After settling in, he met a neighbour who was also an older man.

"Say, my doctor recommended I move here for my health. Is this really a good place to live?"

"It sure is," the man replied. "When I first arrived here I couldn’t say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn’t have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed."

"That’s wonderful," said John. "How long have you been here?"

"I was born here."

Jill was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of the Insurance policy with the man at the Insurance Agency.

During the discussion, she asked, "Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband today and tomorrow he dies? What will I get?"

The agent eyed her suspiciously and replied, "Probably 20 to life."

A woman answered the door and found a salesman selling thermos "What is that?" she asked, "What does it do?".

"This baby," the salesman said, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

After some deliberation she bought one. The next day she arrived at her office and sure enough, her friends were curious about her new object.

"What is it?" they asked. "It’s a thermos," she replied. "What does it do?" they asked. "Well," she said in a bragging manner, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." "What’s in it?" they asked.

"Three cups of coffee and a Pepsi."

A husband came home from church, greeted his wife and lifted her up.`A0 He then carried her around the house. The wife was so surprised and she asked, "Did the bishop preach about being romantic"?

The husband said, "No, he said we must carry our burdens and sorrows."

"How long have you been working here?" one employee asked to another.

"Ever since the boss threatened to fire me."

An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, "No way buddy you’re too drunk."

A few minutes later the drunk comes in through the bathrooms, again he slurs, "give me a drink", bartender says "No man I told you last time you’re too drunk."

Five minutes later the guy comes in through the back door and orders a drink, again the bartender says, "You’re too drunk."

The drunk scratches his head and says, "Damn I must be... the last two places said the same thing."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma