WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Poisonous bite

Two snakes were out taking a stroll when one turns to the other and asks, "Mom, are we poisonous?"

"Why, yes we are," says the second. Again the first snake asks, "Are you sure we’re poisonous?"

"Yes, we are very poisonous."

Again the snake asked, "Are we really really poisonous?"

"Yes, we are really really poisonous. In fact we’re the most poisonous snakes in the world. Why do you ask?"

"Eh... I just bit my lip!"

In a hat shop, a saleslady gushed, "That’s the hat for you! It makes you look 10 years younger." "Then I don’t want it," retorted the matronly customer. "I certainly can’t afford to put on 10 years every time I take off my hat."

Wife: "The bank just returned this cheque." Husband: "Isn’t that nice of them? What can we buy with it this time?"

The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it.`A0Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."

"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you’re just lazy." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."

The new bride went crying to her mother. "Momma, I can’t get my husband to do anything. I want him to fix up the house, but he keeps putting it off."

"Honey," her mother replied, "after being married to your father for 38 years, I’ve found the only way to get him to do anything is to tell him he’s too old."