Inter-caste marriages: Kashmiri Pandit youth breaking taboos

Sumit Hakhoo

Tribune News Service

Jammu, July 19

Considered as “cardinal sin” for Pandits before the exodus of 3.5 lakh community from Kashmir in 1990, the rising trend of inter-community marriages in the past 27 years is bringing immense changes in social and cultural fabric of once close-knit society.

Situation has reached such an extent that 50 per cent of Pandit youth are tying knot outside the community which has already lost much of its ancient cultural and historical heritage due to forced migration after the eruption of militancy in the Kashmir valley.

Though a majority of the couples are living happily, but joint family system is falling apart. There have been several cases of conflict within the families as brides or grooms fail to adopt the new culture, leading to divorces. Remarriages, an anathema for Hindus, is now a routine aspect in such cases.

“These days out of six marriage invitation cards, bride and groom in four of them belong to other community. As more and more youth are working outside the state in multinational firms, there is less interaction between boys and girls as they work and study in different cities of India,” said Adarsh Ajit, a prominent writer and poet who has written extensively on the Pandit issue since exodus.

Some attribute this to progressive thoughts sweeping the society after liberalisation of the economy in 1991. Besides, high mobility and financial independence enjoyed by the youth is giving them the confidence to brave the pressure.

Shampa Bhatacharya (Razdan), a Bengali who married in a Pandit family in 1997, has a story to tell. “I met my husband while working in Germany. It was difficult to adjust after marriage. I faced problems in understanding cultural and social aspects right from language, social gathering and the way they view people from other communities,” said Shampa.

Though traditionalists see it as a serious threat to the identity of the miniscule minority community, couples who have married outside their domain seem to be ignoring these apprehensions terming them fatalist. However, problems still remain when it comes to convincing parents.

A civil engineer working in Middle Eastern country of Qatar, Dheeraj Dhar, had to fight virtual battle to marry a girl of his choice. “It was ingrained in my brain to only look for a Kashmiri girl and when I told my family that I want to marry a non-Kashmir they were stunned. It was a mammoth task of meeting her parents and convincing my parents to let me marry out of caste and community,” said Dheeraj Dhar.

It is a general view that one would be happy if they marry from the same community but that traditional view is being overstepped by the young generation.