Bollywood families get real

Lada Guruden Singh

While it was in 2014 when Hrithik Roshan and Suzanne Khan separated and their 14-year-old marriage came to an end, the year will be remembered more for Hrithik’s active defence of his former life partner amid allegations of her affair with Arjun Rampal. His angry outbursts on twitter showed us a progressive Indian man, who took on the naysayers and protected the mother of their two sons by publicly throwing all his weight behind her. At the same time, Suzanne will also be remembered for showing tremendous courage in not giving in to media pressure to talk about the issues in her marriage with Hrithik that led to their separation and more importantly for conducting herself with remarkable grace while focusing on her business and kids. She also stood out for standing up with her friends Arjun and Meher Rampal and clearing the air by giving a joint interview with the latter.

This was yet another instance where the film fraternity gave ample evidence of just how it has been leading the path for the arrival of modern Indian family where relationships, marriages, children and life choices are being nurtured afresh minus the baggage of century old traditions and behavioural patterns — that for example have taught us that couples must become bitter after they divorce and lead a life where their kids suffer under the weight of their parents’ ego battles. Aamir Khan and Reena Dutta, Saif Ali Khan and Amrita Singh, Anurag Kashyap and Kalki Koechlin are some other celebrity couples who handled their break ups with dignity and continue to remain friends.

Aamir, in fact, also became the voice of support for IVF and surrogacy in India, when he along with his wife Kiran Rao, welcomed their son Azad into their lives in 2011. The two did not shy away from the media and sent out letters revealing why they decided to go for surrogacy. Aamir and Kiran were followed by Gauri and Shah Rukh Khan, who too decided to have their third child, son AbRam through surrogacy. The fact that two biggest superstars of the country adopted surrogacy one after another inspired thousands of childless couples, too, to look at modern techniques available and helped address numerous myths and fears. This became more critical for a country like ours where women are subjected to ostracisation and men suffer infamy when they have difficulty in producing an offspring. Another instance where industry has led the path in redefining the Indian family, has been in the way it has challenged the stereotypes of a stepmother. Kiran Rao’s equation with Aamir and Reena’s kids, or Kareena Kapoor’s admission that she and Sara Khan, Saif and Amrita’s elder daughter, are like friends and that she discusses her boyfriend issues with her, have challenged deep-seated convictions on just how stepmothers are supposed to be, especially in the Indian context.

Similarly on the front of defining home and relationship as separate from marriage, while we may have Khap Panchayats et al, two of Bollywood’s brightest young stars — Ranbir Kapoor and Katrina Kaif moved in together in 2014, in full public glare, thereby putting their stamp on modern day live-in relationships. This happened at a time when live-in relationships exist only in shadows in Indian metropolises.

In terms of breaking the roles that patriarchy defines for boys and girls, Shah Rukh has time and again spoken about his daughter Suhana’s love for soccer and her growth as a player, whereas filmmaker Farah Khan, who has triplets — son Czar and daughters — Anya and Diva, takes pride in the fact that her daughters, like her son, love Judo and are medal winners. Incidentally, Deepika Padukone’s sister, Anisha Padukone is a professional golfer and the elder sister is known to be extremely proud of her feat.

Even on the topic of sexual orientation, the film fraternity has come out in support of the LGBT community a number of times, the most recent case in point being Aamir Khan’s move to bring up the issue on national television in his show Satyamev Jayate in consecutive seasons. This has forced the Indian middle class to discuss and debate and no longer ignore the right to love of the LGBT community even as Section 377 of the IPC still hangs like a sword above.

While it will be foolhardy to believe that the society will change its outlook and debunk age old myths, what raises hopes is that now the conservative sections of the society, the moral torchbearers and the fundamentalists cannot muzzle the voice of reason that is being spearheaded by those who carry the power of influencing not just fashion and food habits of a generation but its living trends and life choices as well.