An inside view, surprisingly balanced

Nonika Singh

Her foreword sounds a wee bit apologetic, a veiled defence of her country. But Mehr Tarar, a 21st century Pakistani, as she calls herself, is no pushover. Not so hardball either, but a frank and fearless woman, she is topped by an acute sensitivity, not an easy trait to find among hard-nosed journalists. Soon you are drawn into a vortex of complexities and dichotomies that nations in the Indian subcontinent and Pakistan, in particular, comprise of. 

Patriarchy is the running thread as she introduces us to its chilling facts and hideous dimensions. Honour killings, barbaric murder of a girl remotely connected to elopement of a couple, are built with much assiduousness and empathy. Just when you are saddened by the plight of women in Pakistan, just when you can sense universality in their anguish, she springs an inspiring account of Muniba Munjari. The story of this paraplegic girl, who has not let disability overshadow her life, is truly elevating.

Life in Pakistan, its social mosaic, the schisms within not much different from developing nations, are detailed with a certain degree of sauciness. In a rather brief chapter on Friends, Fashion, Food and Fools, she enquires of the chattering classes: Is gossip gospel? 

For all those Indian fans of Pakistani dramas, there is an incisive analysis of Pakistani soaps. Baring the prince charming syndrome and excessive preoccupation with role of marriage in women's lives, she is spot on in her critique. She makes no bones about the fact Pakistan is a male-driven society. She  bares her soul to take you into Pakistan's social recesses where the status of divorced woman is anything but desirable. In yet another story, she cleverly uses the first-person narrative of a woman cheated in love to throw you off balance. Is it really her story...the revelation is writ in the last line.

Whatever narrative devices Tarar employs, she has you transfixed. She makes people and situations come alive in a riveting manner. Yet, the tenor is never flippant. Extremely engaging, she makes you oscillate between various shades that life presents in its glory and downward spiral. Her prose is lucid and adept. She uses the power of words most effectively, with punch and panache. Yet, the wordage is neither verbose nor flowery even when she uses more than one adjective to describe her subjects.

Deep and analytical, clearly Tarar's understanding of her nation is not surface deep, or even of now-friend-now-foe neighbour India. Her essay on Big B's histrionic ability would put many a seasoned film critic to shame. While she chooses to end the book with an impassioned requiem for peace between two countries, references to India, especially its filmstars, abound. She draws many parallels. Recounting the tragic death of YouTube sensation Qandeel Baloch, murdered by her brother for living life on her own terms, she reminds readers of Sunny Leone who has, despite her steamy past, found a niche in Bollywood. If India's superstars Deepika Padukone and Priyanka Chopra can be comfortable in their skin… did Baloch deserve the violent death she was meted out? She leaves the question unanswered as well as answers it in her inimitable manner. 

Of course, she asks many tough questions about her country and paints its fissures, even religious ones. Mark her words; “A country that runs on Islamic laws and does not really adhere to the real essence of Islamic injunctions.” More pertinent observations are made while viewing Indo-Pak ties. She asks Pakistan to punish perpetrators of terror in India and India to resolve the thorny Kashmir issue. “Uninterrupted and uninterruptible dialogue,” she demands. Amid the mayhem and madness that often defines Indo-Pak relations, her voice is unambiguous, sane and rational. 

Whether talking  about her homeland or the land towards which she seems to have unalloyed feelings, she strikes a balance. Warm, funny, intense, probing, enquiring… she reminds emphatically, how people on both sides of the border look, talk and emote alike. And she does all this she does without wearing rose-tinted glasses. Tender yes, mawkish no…this is a book that envelopes you but without turning cloying.