MBA (baba management), anyone?

Tejinder Singh Bedi

If success is viewed as having acquired wealth, luxuries and a huge following of blind bhakts, then doubtlessly, after politics, the annexation of a guru gaddi that confers one the title of a baba in India is the best career choice today. And the beauty of both these most lucrative vocations — politics and babaship — going down to many dynastic generations, too, is that no formal education and qualifications are required.

The meteoric rise of Baba Gurmeet Ram Rahim, Baba Ramdev and Sai Baba (known for creating vibhuti out of thin air and many other magical feats) points towards this.

If we think of today's babas, there is hardly anyone who does not own huge sprawling ashrams, a fleet of state-of-the-art vehicles, ambulances and circles of security covers. Many of them own lavishly furnished and exotically spruced up auditoriums and swimming pools. They prefer to stay in 7-star hotels. And, ironically, they preach their unsuspecting, simple followers to shun all attachment to material comfort or longing and observe austerity. 

This is no different from the discourses we often get to hear from some of our politicians, too, who are as clever in exploiting this card and claim to be honest and poor at the same time. 

And just as birds of the same feather flock together, both of these species mix up with each other or with celebrities, while keeping the common man at bay. Yet, they proudly claim to be really living the life of a faqir. Can even one of them compare him/herself with the lifestyle and stature of Sai Baba of Shirdi or our earlier gurus and babas? 

They create an empire that sustains and satiates all of one's needs, desires and ambitions, either at state expense or by the 'giveaways' of hard-earned money (not capital) and labour (including time) of the common man and then say that s/he is a faqir for s/he owns nothing in his or her name.

It may not be wrong to state that most of these current day babas flourish on the 'giveaways' of their poor disciples as another kind of spiritual tax, just like the income tax or goods and services taxes paid for our country — and as much for our governments and politicians of the day maintained and sustained by the masses . 

Most of them have cleverly manipulated or quietly started using the title of baba by first creating a small bunch of followers who would address them as such in public congregations. Thereafter, its acceptance multiplies. Just like a clever man may place an idol of some deity at the centre of a road and in due course end up creating a huge place of worship for followers of that deity and then create a dera or a gaddi in their name(s) as long as any political or social dissent or the government does not notice or intervene. Just like the way people first create illegal slums or encroachments and then get the same regularised through vote bank politics. Just as the numbers of blind followers multiply following the planting of stories of cures or miraculous gains accrued to their pre-fixed promoter followers.

However, there is nothing wrong in all this, for many in our country accept all this and have rather been promoting such growth of certain individuals they happen to repose their faith in. 

Regarding sex, babas too are human and, as such, no one should object to their indulgence in this so long as they are not raping or exploiting women. 

As far as businesses go, it is okay if they are not looting the nation or its economy for growth of their personal empires. If they wish to prosper like the Tatas and Ambanis, it is perfectly fine, but they must clarify that they are neither faqirs nor babas. 

On the contrary, they should be encouraged to preach and teach their followers how to multiply wealth and raise their standards of living. The HRD Ministry could even consider launching an MBA course in baba management for all the blind followers and try to globalise it! The beauty of such a course would be that no basic qualifications may be necessary to get admissions and, hence, no pressure of exams and related scams. The only quality needed would be an ability to deliver good stories, fairy tales and hopes of a great future. Such a course would be free from the compulsions of reservations based on caste, creed or gender. And if civil society leaders succeed in ensuring the growth of the products of such a course, the sheer multiplication of the parallel economy run by such babas could boost employment at all levels, and raise GDP and export earnings through franchises created in different countries of the world. Some well-meaning honest, qualified engineers, doctors, civil servants, mediapesons, judges and academicians could also shift to such careers, considering the all-round progress promised by the same without any questions asked — until society's faith is shaken off.