So bee meet again...

Amarjot Kaur

At the BP (bee pee) station, a washroom at the beehive, bee queued up to attend the nature’s call. Now, since this one is blessed with exceptional socialising skills, you wish good lord saves the worker bee, drone bee, and the right-wing extremist and Trump-fan Bumble bee (who the bee, unfortunately, dated for a few hours)! “This one is taking as long as the Falcon rocket and I feel like SpaceX,” says the Bumble bee. “Well, you may want to run like Milind Soman far away to another BP station and make a record, but that’ll be a bad comparison ‘bee’cause I still have a crush on the ‘Made in India’ boy! 

By the way, did you know, there’s a dating app called Bumble. You should try it,” replies the bee. Meanwhile, it also flashes the symbol of ‘trash dove’, which been going viral on Internet and Facebook, for on February 14, a screenshot of a Feminists United Facebook page calling the trash dove a “symbol for neo-nazis”. “We found dove in a soap-less place,” sings the bee!

Also, Milind Soman, 51, bee’s official Old Spice man, who successfully completed the Ironman event in 2015, has now bagged the title of Ultraman after completing 10-km swim, 148-km bike ride, 276-km bike ride and an 84-km run. “Dill chahiye bas ‘Made in India’,” sings the worker bee as our bee joins in! Bee-witched now, aren’t they?

Talking of all things viral, Farida Jalal’s death has been keeping the Internet buzzing like the bee. “Keh do ki yeh jhooth hai (say it isn’t so),” says the worker bee which suffers from DDLJ hangover and is as Bollywood as can be. Well, seems like the Farida got webbed. Reportedly, she denied the Internet rumours saying that she’s alive and healthy.

Face the book

All right, so Mohammad Nabi and Rashid Arman are to play for Sunrisers Hyderabad in the new season of the Indian Premier League (IPL) which begins in April and Facebook is abuzz is with news that Nabi and Rashid were sold on Monday’s auction for 3 million Indian rupees while Rashid Khan was sold for 40 million Indian rupees. Also, Sri Lankan all-rounder Angelo Mathews has been sold to Delhi Daredevils for two crore, while Kings XI Punjab bought England batsman Eoin Morgan at a base price of Rs 2 crore, reportedly. “That’s the IPL hustle even after demonetisation! 

Talk about made in India,” laughs drone bee. “Talk of worker rights,” says the worker bee, “BrewDog, a Scotland-based company, recently announced puppy parental leave for its employees and the company already allows employees to bring their four-legged friends to work with them. Here, humans struggle to get maternity and paternity leave!”

Tweet Trail

Here’s a fashion victim of his own circumstances. Not that bee’s much of a fashion police, but do you really need a fashion junkie to comment of Ranveer’s look that has become a butt of all jokes on Twitter? “You paint him black and yellow, give him tentacles, and wings... he’s one of us. Just let him bee,” says the bee. 

alt-rtsh @floydimus 

(David Attenborough voice)

And here we see a sperm whale, far from its natural habitat, answering a mating call cuz her parents aren’t home

Eku. @SnoozeMode_ 

“Baby, please wear protection.”

Ranveer: *Thumbs up*

Pranav @pranavsapra 

Nice! It’s about time the Phantom cigarettes pack got a makeover.

Tube tales

If you like whiling away time,  because that’s what most people use internet for, well, Bollywood music videos from the  90s have been rehashed. So, you may want to check out the ‘mast mast’ couple Raveena Tandon and Akshay Kumar dancing to Sia’s Cheap Thrills. They have Bobby Deol dancing to Magic’s No Way No. However, for those who can’t stomach the idea of cheap thrills, Hussain Haidry’s evocative poem Hindustani Musalman that highlights the unity in diversity of India is a treat that Indians will resonate with. Till then, we’ll let the bee be and pee in peace!

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