The art of receiving

Abha Chaudhary

It’s an honour to receive a gift. Someone has taken time to choose or create something they hope you’ll enjoy. So, the most important thing, especially when opening a gift in the presence of the giver is to thank the person enthusiastically. It’s so important to express your appreciation for their thoughtfulness sincerely. It is the thought, the time, the effort and creativity that is so much more important than the actual gift. So, even if the present is not too right, be generous with your appreciation while accepting it. 

All gifts must be acknowledged either verbally or in writing and thanks of any kind must be prompt, especially when the gift wasn’t presented in person. Otherwise the giver is left wondering if it was even received. Hand-written notes are always warmer and more personal than a phone call or an email and only second best to thanking someone in person, though people would still appreciate them, they are getting extinct.

Write the thank you note as if you were speaking with the person you’re thanking. Keep it short and sweet. Save the family news for another time. Focus on the positive and don’t mention any dissatisfaction with the gift. Always remember the generosity and spirit of the giver.

Receiving an overly expensive gift from anyone other than a significant other or close family members puts the recipient in an awkward position. It becomes a lopsided relationship and the receiver can feel either owing or owned. If an overly generous friend gives you an over-the-top gift, say something like “this is stunning, but you really shouldn’t have”. You’ve thanked her while gracefully dropping a hint that you aren’t obligated to reciprocate in kind. In some cases when the gift is so far out of context with the relationship, you might just have to return it. Very expensive jewellery from someone you don’t know that well, as much as you appreciate the gift and the sentiment, you cannot accept it. 

The crystal vase your friend mailed to you looks beautiful but it’s broken into three pieces. What could you do? Any reputable store will replace merchandise on reasonable evidence that it was damaged in transit. Either take it along with its packaging to the shop where it was purchased or you could inform the giver so that she could recover her costs and replace the gift. 

In most cases, you needn’t feel guilty about exchanging a gift. The giver’s aim was to please, not to give you a sweater that will forever hang in the back of your closet. If the gift is the wrong size, it’s okay to make the exchange, but not necessary to mention it in your thanks.

(Chaudhary is a Chandigarh-based image and style consultant)