Marital disputes in Kashmir on the rise, affected women fighting a lonely battle

Rifat Mohidin

Tribune News Service

Srinagar, April 24

Its 10:30 in the morning, Shaista (name changed) with half of her face covered by a black mask, is waiting outside the women police station along with her old ailing mother amid buzzing honks on the busy Ram Bagh Road here.

Marital discord has taken away all her happiness and she is here to seek justice.

In 2014, Shaista was married at the Gulab Bagh locality of the summer capital, just hundred metres away from her home. It was a happy day for her, the marriage was an arranged one. However, the happiness did not last long.

Within a month Shaista realised that her family had been deceived. She was constantly harassed by her “unemployed” husband for money.

“We were told that he is an engineer. The whole family along with the matchmaker lied to us. I realised it only after the marriage,” says Shaista, who is now fighting against her in-laws.

Shaista stayed at her in-laws place for just a month. It was “suffocating” and she was forced to finally leave the house. For the last one year, she has been staying with her parents.

“I had jewelry worth Rs 22 lakh…my husband took everything from me. He used to do nothing…,” she says.

Shaista says she could have even lived with lies to save her home, but the continuous harassment by her in-laws forced her to take divorce from her husband.

“Initially, I didn’t want to take legal course because of the stigma and fear of society. But then I realised that I had no other option. My parents are old. It is a battle which I have to fight all alone,” she adds.

The chairperson of State Women’s Commission Nayeema Mehjoor said there was a 70 per cent increase in the cases of domestic violence in Kashmir. Every day, five or six are registered at the commission, she said.

There are thousands women like Shaista fighting martial disputes and domestic violence.

Madiha (name changed) from uptown Srinagar was married to a man who was settled in Bangkok. For a year, after marriage in 2009, Madiha stayed with her husband, but only to return disappointed. For the last three years her husband has not visit her.

“I stayed with him for a year. He didn’t like anything about me. It was a trauma to live with him. He used to shout at me and often beat me. When I came back to Kashmir three years ago, he told me that he will return and live here. But for the last three years now I am living with my parents,” she adds.

“After a long wait and talks with his family, I am taking legal route now…he now wants to end it. He has agreed to visit the Valley for divorce,” says a sobbing Madiha.

In many cases, women say that their in-laws tried to kill them.

Aamina (name changed) went against the decision of her parents to marry a boy whom she loved.

But it was a “horrific experience” for Aamina to be at her in-laws place. Her mother-in-law would often look for an excuse to throw her out of her son’s life.

“While I was cooking in the kitchen my mother-in-law deliberately leaked the LPG with an intention to set me ablaze. Things became difficult with every passing day and finally my husband divorced me,” says Aamina.

“At times, we even become burden on our parents. No one wants to do anything to stop this violence or even talk about it,” she adds.

In most of the cases, the traumatised women are single-handedly fighting for justice.

Martial disputes in Kashmir have become common and the little legal help is provided to the victims.

In many cases, fed up of the torture by in-laws and husbands, women ended their lives.

Station House Officer, women’s police station, Gulshan Akhtar said they receive almost 10 cases of marital disputes every day.

“Martial disputes are rising. The cases of domestic violence have become a norm. Though we try our best to address the issue, society needs to open its eyes,” says Gulshan, who has been dealing with the cases of domestic violence for the last two decades.