No joy in Roy

Nonika Singh

He, Kabir Grewal (Arjun Rampal) is a top-notch director; she Ayesha (Jacqueline Fernandez) is ‘one with a difference’ matlab offbeat director whose films grace film festivals. They meet at picture perfect Malaysia where both have gone to make their kind of films. Sparks fly and in between their love story lies a heist drama, a film within a film, some sterling cinematography, a bit of heightened tension and a lot more. Kuch different hai boss for sure.
Alas, that’s the only USP of the film that meanders unnecessarily, lingers far too often on dialogues and scenes of little real value, and treats each frame as if it was one long poem. However, what you get is not even prose or even basic, simple logical kahani.  Actually none of the film’s surface polish adds to anything substantial, let alone something that will leave you awestruck.
Indeed, as the film begins the director constructs a maze and you are all ears and attention, wondering and quizzing who Roy is? Is he a reel character invented by Kabir or a real thief? In the film, of course he is Ranbir Kapoor who romances Ayesha’s look-alike also played by Jacqueline Fernandez. As the story interweaves and cuts these two love stories, as it intermingles off screen and onscreen personas the pace goes for a six. And the interest level keeps dipping and finally nosedives completely. Individually, the frames may seem poetic. In one scene it even caresses languorously over Jacqueline Fernandez as she shares her dream to be a ballet dancer and breaks into several dance postures. No doubt Jacqueline looks lovely, puts up a fairly decent act too. So do the two male leads.
In fact, the film packs quite a few competent actors. There is Anupam Kher as hotshot director’s father, Shernaz Patel as his assistant director. Both are gloriously wasted as is Rajit Kapoor. Playing a detective he tries to solve the curious case of missing artworks and by the end of it appears as perplexed as we are.
In a story so illogically complex, the air of mystery and mystique hangs so thick one could cut it with a knife. Wish one could do the same with the plot and clear the confusion or steer it in the right direction at least. Story ko agar direction nahi mil rahi ho to use wahi khatam kar dena chaahyee… goes one dialogue in the film. Good lord, why didn't the director practice what he preached! Instead, he goes on and on trying to make an artistic statement out of nothingness. For till the interval you are trying to figure out not only who's who but why are they doing what they are. All through you sit with great expectations hoping that something spectacular will happen. Sure the film moves at many levels, yet works at none what to talk of running deep.
The only reason why you ought to nay you could possibly watch this film is that it doesn't fit into the formula rut. Sure we nod wholeheartedly with Ranbir Kapoor who said in an interview that it takes a lot of courage to make such a film. But let him be told it takes greater courage to watch it!
So dear readers let you be reminded if you are looking for entertainment or a heartwarming love story… stay away. Even though it packages three good-looking actors, don't make the mistake of thinking it’s a perfect Valentine’s gift. It could rather be the proverbial spoiler whose aftertaste will make you scoot in any direction but love. Pretentious and boring…. love never feels like this.