‘Gati’ of a girl’s father

Ramesh Kumar

The occasion was the ‘kirya’ ceremony of the father of one of my colleagues at Mukand Lal National College, Yamunanagar, about 10 years ago. The 'pandal' was full with Panditji on the dais narrating   the sacred Garud Puran Katha and a beeline of mourners offering floral  tributes to the departed soul.  It was already past three, the standard time being 2 to 3 pm. Uneasy people sitting on the floor looked at their watches time and again, waiting for Panditji to conclude. At 3.20 pm Panditji concluded and the announcer invited me to pay 'shardanjli' to the deceased. I pleaded that there was no need for anyone else to speak after Panditji and the function should be concluded. But he insisted that as Principal of the college I should speak on behalf of everybody.  

Reluctantly, I went to the mike, spoke a few sentences about the father of my colleague and raised a point that Panditji had talked about the ‘pitra’ and ‘putra’ and of ‘gati’ of the soul at the hands of the son 17 times and every time it hurt my sentiments -- what about the 'gati' of the father of only girls, I myself being the father of  two daughters? 

I told Panditji how in this family the old man was taken care of by his granddaughter and her mother, a 'daughter' of the family for the last 40 years. My colleague being away to the college every day and his sons being in Mumbai, it was the 'daughters' who looked after him in his frail health, taking care of his comfort/pain, keeping him warm, playing with him like children, nursing him like mothers during the precarious stage of his health spread over months. Yes, it was the daughters in whose hands he breathed his last and that what would happen to 'gati' of the  old man? 

I further asked the receptive crowd that if they looked around themselves, they would find many old parents being abandoned by their sons, but certainly there were daughters looking after their parents at the critical stages of their lives, and appealed to Panditji that we should change with the times and that in future he should not dwell on the necessity of having a son. Instead, he should pray for children, girls or boys, to be noble, seeking for them blessings of intelligence,  compassion,  sincerity, sense of service towards society and their elders. And what would happen to the theory of Karma if ‘gati’ was related to the touch of a son only? 

To my surprise, a thunderous applause came from the women's section of the audience. I don’t think I have ever heard clapping at any ‘kirya’ ceremony.