After we are gone...

Wg Cdr JS Bhalla (Retd)

DEATH was, still is, esoteric — an unacceptable truth. We know one day we shall die but are unwilling to discuss it. We must work out the details for the last journey to minimise the hardship for those we leave behind. 

I was a guest teacher at a school as  part of an initiative to have retired professionals teach on a voluntary basis. My emphasis has been on teaching  moral values to children; grooming them to become disciplined citizens. I desire that they remember me as a teacher who taught them values with passion.

As time passes, I find myself pondering more and more about the actual nature of my demise — how, when and where it will happen. I cannot pretend that the thought of death is without fear, but it is not death I am afraid of, but of dying — languishing on the bed helplessly for years, living at the mercy of helpers for my daily routine.  

Organ donation is a genuine way of saving life. In spite of religious  embargo, I have pledged my organs to give someone the gift of life after I am gone from the world. Let my body be put to some use after my death. 

My funeral is planned and the details worked out. I have never liked the idea of being burnt with stacks of wood all around me. Using wood should be discouraged, being the main source of pollution. Why not use  solar energy which is more eco-friendly? In any case, with my organ  donation, nothing would be left for the funeral.

Over the years, bhog ceremonies have undergone a sea change. I attended one six decades ago, when mourners sat on a jute mat spread in the langar hall  and were served only dal and chapati. The aura of mourners personified the family’s grief. Today, after the bhog, a lavish langar is relished by the mourners. The atmosphere is not that of sorrow, but of a get-together, where  people laugh and talk about everything on earth, but the departed soul. I have decided on a simple antim ardas without langar.

People often consider they are too young to make a will. Writing a will is not a pleasant task, you are acknowledging your own demise and planning for it, but it needs to be done to save your family any ordeal; to share your assets as per your wish when you are gone. Besides the will, I have put together a file containing all details, locker key, bank account numbers, property details and donor card to facilitate my smooth departure.