Cross-eyed conundrum

CV Sukumaran

THE late Murugappa Modi was a renowned ophthalmologist from Karnataka. It was well known that the pioneer of mass surgeries took no time to perform any eye operation, barring squint correction, which demanded a bit more time. Back in those days, villagers were unaware that the squint could be corrected. Many left it to God’s will. What made me recall this ophthalmologist was my recent encounter with a squint-eyed man who asked me for directions.

Growing up in a north Kerala village, I knew a woman who desperately wanted her cross-eyed son to get married. Her thoughts centred on nothing but his marriage. But he was in no hurry to get hitched. He would say: ‘Amma, I am only 21. I don’t want to think about marriage right now.’ However, his mother thought differently. Like many mothers, she said: ‘I want to see the face of my grandson before I take my last breath.’

‘Suppose you get a granddaughter instead?’ he asked. She hesitated for a moment, for that was not a question she had expected. ‘That is God’s will. We can’t change it,’ she retorted.

Four years later, the son gave his mother the heartwarming news about his willingness to marry. ‘But Amma, mothers-in-law are usually a nightmare for their daughters-in-law. Assure me that you would not harass my wife.’ At this, she became indignant. Raising her voice, she said: ‘Look, I carried you inside my stomach for nine months and brought you up with great difficulty. And you are brazen enough to take a stranger’s side!’

The son said smilingly: ‘Well, no words are enough to praise your sacrifice. However, to speak the truth, did you not hanker for a child? And did you not enjoy carrying me?’

When the son was about to leave for seeing the bride, a time-honoured custom, she said: ‘You know, once my friend’s son was duped when he went to see the girl. She feigned shyness and held her head down while he was talking to her. Only at the time of the wedding did the boy notice that she was cross-eyed.’

She asked him to wear dark glasses. ‘Your aunt will accompany you and see to it that the girl is flawless,’ she said. At the girl’s house, the aunt said the boy had conjunctivitis and did not want to spread the infection. ‘You know, we decided the day after consulting an astrologer,’ the aunt lied. ‘Oh, that is very good. You did not hesitate to come here even when he had conjunctivitis. And it would have been inauspicious to change the date,’ the girl’s father said naively.

Imprudent as he was, only after the wedding did he realise that he had played into the hands of the crafty aunt.

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