First day of school

Poonam Singh Bhimania

TODAY I am filled with an ocean of emotions. I got up early, rather I did not sleep last night. I woke up every half an hour to steal a look at the clock. Oh! What a restless night.

At dawn, all morning chores were completed to keep myself available for another responsibility which will now be part of the morning routine — preparing my child for school. This was his first day of school.

I was excited, but nervous. The mere anticipation of seeing my child in his first uniform brought me immense joy. I longed to take his photograph and post it on Facebook, with the caption ‘First day of school’. But my hands were numb and my heart was filled with apprehension — perhaps at under three years of age, he was too young. 

Knowing teachers are professionally well trained, I still couldn’t stop the frightening random thoughts; making me more vulnerable. I knew I had to overcome my fears. 

I rationalised my thoughts. How amazed I am at a teacher’s expertise of managing little children in a class! I find it difficult to handle a single child with his tantrums at home! How difficult it is to control your emotions when you realise your child’s mischief has created mess at home. And repeatedly cleaning home is such a mental agony. I prayed his teacher would not shout at him if he does so in school. I also hoped that the teacher would quickly soothe his fears and if he falls and hurts himself, she would comfort him. 

Finally, time arrived when he had to be dropped off at school. I wondered how he would react to the new environment. Would he be happy among children his age? Would he like the new lady under whose care he would now be placed? So, engrossed in my own thoughts I reached the school gate. I looked at my boy, his face was glowing, his eyes were shining, the dimples in his cheeks became deep and his hop-hop bunny jumps at the gate made me forget everything.  

The teacher standing on the other side of the gate was pleased to see his excitement. My boy, impressed by her beautiful smile and caring gesture, entered school where his mother wasn’t allowed. I was eagerly waiting for him to turn. It took him seconds to realise that his mother wasn’t accompanying him to school. He turned back, his eyes raising numerous questions. Holding back my emotions, I said, ‘Good-bye, Mamma will come to pick you up in some time, you enjoy yourself.’ He smiled and said good-bye. 

Although, my baby took a week’s time to adjust to the school environment, it took me a month to get used to the idea that he will be in the care of someone I don’t know personally and whom I will have to learn to trust. 

The experience made me realise, early on in life, ‘unfortunately as noble as parental intentions undoubtedly are, sometimes this intense desire to protect the child from the world outside can lead to a number of problems for the parents, the child, and their relationships’.