Passwords & their secret hiding place

Brig Suresh Chander (retd)

The wife was her usual aggressive self when she demanded to know if I had changed the wi-fi code. Without even giving me time to respond, she thundered, ‘Why is it not working?’ My slightly nervous reply was, ‘Technical glitches of the service provider… perhaps.’ By uttering the last word I thought I had covered my vulnerable rear flank. Just as well. She responded that the neighbour’s wi-fi was working full speed and they had the same service provider. She instructed that I feed the password again. That is how the rest of the story unfolds.

She is not computer or iPhone savvy, but picks up adequate know-how from the grandkids to keep tormenting me. I had been blasted for storing all the codes, PINs, MPINs, etc. on the tablet. I was told that all this vital information would be on iCloud and thus easily accessible by intelligence agencies, or any smart operator on the prowl at call centres. Our bank balances could be easily cleaned out. The information could also be used by brain-mapping us to find out our political leanings. The last bit was provocative, but I let it pass.

Thereafter, I started noting down all PINs and codes in a note form and hiding this classified document in the obscurest of places. The passwords were regularly changed and the ‘note’ amended diligently. Hiding places, too, were changed frequently — Army style.

It was all well for a few months. Then one day, she wanted her Paytm password. For once, my confident reply was, ‘Just give me a minute, my darling!’ I frequently say silly things that I do not mean.

I went to the secret cache, but to my horror found nothing! I went into panic mode. This state seriously affects my thinking ability and ‘search the brain mode’ goes into a slow hover. A faint thought flashed across my mind that I had recently changed the hiding place. But for the love of the Lord and fear of unthinkable consequences, I could not remember the new hiding place. We turned the house upside down, but could not locate the ‘note’.  Electronic, digital and part of the banking life came to a standstill. Strange, but my better half did not put me under excessive strain realising that the ageing system may fall apart. 

I have however learnt my lesson and starting keeping this precious document in a foolproof place: next to my will.

I was informed by my grandson that apps can be accessed from the app store to store passwords. A new gadget has also recently appeared in the market for the same purpose. 

I would, however, recommend that some of us senior citizens, with a shaky technology base, continue to use the note system rather than create the possibility of handling one more technical snarl.