Persistence and patience pay

Harrish Sairaman

Does your boss make your work-life a living hell? Is it hard to get through a day at the office when your boss seems to be more competent at being rude and nasty to you? Overly demanding superiors often believe that yelling and screaming is the only form of human communication that exists. Public criticisms and demeaning remarks are commonplace with them and they aren’t convinced with the general notion that critical feedback should be kept aside for private interactions. Not all bosses are like this but sometimes it might feel like you are the ‘chosen one’!

The simple truth here is that more often than not, it is believed and said that employees don’t leave their organisations, they leave their bosses. However, in spite of all this so called torture, the harsh truth is that ‘you are running away from your inability to handle such a boss! Wouldn’t you agree? 

So, the point here is whether running away is the only option that you have? And, for how long could you keep running from one company to the next? There is no guarantee that your next manager would be that cool-headed chap you always dreamt of. You should keep in mind that bosses are just like our relatives. We do not get to choose them and they just happen to you. The key is to not get bogged down by the behaviour of your boss and to face the whole situation strongly. Here’s some help to make you not just survive in such a difficult working environment but to thrive in it as well. 

Work on patience

Patience should be your biggest virtue. You would need to conjure up a patient attitude of the highest degree if you are working under a difficult boss. In spite of all the tantrums that he/she might throw at you, you have to be as tolerant with him as you would be with a naughty infant that does the same. Bad bosses and infants have a lot in common, don’t they? They are both stubborn, self-centered, demanding and also prone to mood swings. However, this will only work at ‘work’ if you keep your vison on the bigger picture. Remember, when you have bigger visions other challenges look small and in the absence of a bigger vison or passion, problems will get exaggerated.

When you have some negativity and challenge at work which you can avoid, then  one of the best ways is to increase the positivity in other areas else you will not build the right strength to handle and salvage this one. Start spending more time with optimistic people and people experienced at handling handle tough bosses. Also, don’t hesitate to approach a coach, mentor for insights and guidance. Remember that services of a therapist and coach are handy not just when there is a grave problem, but also when we need a different perspective. 

Gather info

Learning more about your boss can help you connect with him. Here is where you would need to use all the shrewd research skills you picked up while doing your college projects. Gather all available information about your boss and figure out the things that he loves the most, hates the most and what are his priorities. Remember, every behaviour has a reason and if you don’t work with the reason the behaviour can’t change. You can try and use this to your advantage to slowly influence him. Build a good rapport with him through casual conversation and he should feel that you are a true ally. If you manage to connect well with your boss, the interactions will be more smooth and meaningful. 

Don’t withdraw

While being saddled with a difficult boss it is very normal to retreat and avoid meeting such bosses. But this strategy is not going to work to your benefit. Rather, you should try and spend more time with the boss. Have a lot of conversations, even if it means experiencing temporary ‘pain’. 

Control emotions

Emotional strength and control is the key in such situations. Always remember that  challenges can either make you strong or weak, it all depends on how you face  and interpret a situation. Take this up as a personal challenge knowing that the day you are able to handle it, you move on to the next level of progress knowing fully well that you can now handle such bosses in the future too and this will not only enhance your performance but make you stronger by the day.

— The writer is a noted motivational speaker

Understand the other side

Help your boss try and work out the main interests and concerns of your superior. Keep an eye on his top priorities and goals in the current year. Also, understand that your boss too wants to grow in the organisation. If you help him achieve that growth, he will surely take up the responsibility for your growth too.