Mum’s the word

Rachna Singh

With more and more women taking on demanding careers, a clash between career aspirations and demands of motherhood is a natural corollary. An important presentation may coincide with a parent-teacher meeting. An annual function may come up slap bang with an emergency surgery. Getting children ready for school, preparing or supervising nutritious meals, managing office responsibilities efficiently, helping children with home-work, the to-do list of a working mother is endless.

Her role as a competent professional more often than not comes in conflict with her role as a nurturer and a supportive confidante to her children. A working mum is no superwoman who will seamlessly move from one role to the other. She is a normal woman, who may be beset with anxiety and guilt, if her work suffers or if the well-being of her children is in jeopardy. So are the new-age working mums skillfully balancing their conflicting roles or are they still caught in a classic Catch-22 situation?

Undoubtedly, a working mum walks a fine line. Striking the correct balance between being a successful professional and a good mother is extremely tough. A career mother often needs to make compromises. More often than not the compromises are on the career front. She may have to relinquish a great job opportunity simply because the demands of such a job would eat into her time with her children. She may have to quit her job when her children are young and thus lose advantage of an early start in terms of seniority and pay package.

Dr Harjinder Kohli, Senior Consultant, Department of Anesthesiology, Apollo Hospital, Ludhiana, and a mother of two teens feels that a career is important but not at the cost of the children. She is passionate about her work and has created a professional niche for herself but back home children are her priority. She admits that her career peak came late but she is happy that “When my children needed me most in their initial years I was with them.”

With time and experience working mothers have honed the balancing act to a fine skill. They are so well versed in the art of multi-tasking that they have learnt to ensure that office work does not encroach upon their quality time with their children or vice versa. Time management is the mantra of these ‘mompreneurs’. Surekha Pillai, a software professional with an 8-year old daughter, admits that it is not easy to balance the role of a mother with a demanding profession but it can be managed. A regimented time-schedule helps her juggle her roles. She says “I try to be home by 6 p.m. most days. My daughter is mature enough to understand that I need an hour to relax but she also knows that my entire evening is devoted to her. We both treasure our time together”

Working mums manage their equally demanding roles through prioritisation and delegation. Household chores, grocery shopping, dropping and picking children are delegated without a qualm but the physical, mental and emotional well-being of a child is of paramount importance. Psychologists concur that working mothers have children who are more independent, mature and socially skilled. Moreover, as both parents are bread earners, they grow up without a gender bias.

Mona Mohanty, Commissioner, Income Tax, Rohtak, feels she has done a reasonably successful balancing act. She has never been found wanting in terms of work by her bosses. The cherry on the cake is that she also shares a great rapport with her college and school-going two sons, who keep her posted about the happenings in their alumni as well as tit-bits about football and latest trends in music and technology. She avers that having a working mum has made them not only self-reliant but also caring and considerate. “At the end of the day I do not regret being a working mother,” she says. Working mothers have also realised that their physical and mental health is important if they have to be good professionals and mothers. Some ‘me’ time is essential. Mrs Sucharita Sharma, Principal Apeejay College of Fine Arts, Jalandhar, and mother of a doctor and corporate executive, stresses the need for meditation and yoga for physical and mental rejuvenation of a working mother. She feels that “if you are healthy you can look after both your home and your career in a balanced and appropriate manner.”

Changing social mores have also helped working mums improve upon their balancing act. Fathers are now taking an active interest in bringing up the children. Sharing of household chores, taking turns to drop children for school and other co-curricular activities, helping children with home work definitely reduces the burden of a working mother. Easy availability of domestic help for household chores leaves a working mother free to spend quality time with the children.

The tug of war between the demands of a hard-won career and responsibilities of a conscientious mother is never-ending but working mums are now balancing their roles with increasing panache and skill. Perhaps, a ‘perfect mother’ and a ‘perfect professional’ can happily co-exist in the near future.