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The hands-on husband

Have a hefty pay packet and want your husband to pitch in the kitchen? Well, you might be in for a disappointment, if a latest study by the relationship experts Nuemark and Harnack is anything to by!

The hands-on husband

chore compatibility: The secret of a new-age romance is to cook up a delicacy or help with the laundry



Jasmine Pannu

Have a hefty pay packet and want your husband to pitch in the kitchen? Well, you might be in for a disappointment, if a latest study by the relationship experts Nuemark and Harnack is anything to by! The study gives an analysis of just how the families with a lower income threshold have a greater partnership among both the partners as far as cooking, meal planning and other household chores go. The ever grumpy mother, the cowering wife and quintessentially the ever-mute Indian son! Now that is a glimpse straight out of a typical Indian household, buzzing with the flurry of sending a man out to work. However, things might just be changing, though at a snail’s-pace.

Way to a woman’s heart

The times have changed and so have the age-old clichés. Gone are the times when a woman used to sweat it out, trying to rustle up the delicacies to please her husband and in the process, his entire brood. It is now our ever-so patrician man of the house, who wields a spatula and a pan, all in an attempt to bring a smile to his ever-harried wife’s face! In an attempt to strike the all-important balance, he tends to ease the pressure of the household chores, looking for a balanced, happy relationship in return. Says Ravinder Kala, psychotherapist at the Ludhiana-based outfit, Mind First, “The young men today themselves want a more balanced and meaningful relationship. You will be surprised at how many men today choose their life partners based on what attracts them towards a woman rather than someone who will just cook and clean.” The fact that they have been brought up by working mothers also adds up to their skill, adds Kala. So, the next time your husband conjures up a delicious breakfast, you know whom to thank!

A safer choice

Well, at the end of the day, it is simply a safer choice to cook up a delicacy or help around with the laundry if that is all it takes to make a happy relationship. Interestingly, romance now lies in how you understand your stressed-out wife’s needs. Or at least, that is how the modern working woman feels. “What use would be my husband’s tall claims of love if he cannot make me a cup of tea when I want it or even soothe a crying baby when I am working,” ponders Dr Ramandeep Oberoi, a dental surgeon. As for men, it really is a safer route as Ajay Verma, whose wife works in a bank, says, “What’s wrong in spending a few minutes in the kitchen if it eases the pressure on my wife’s?” Interestingly, there’s another benefit attached to it. “Actually I might get to practice my creativity and cook up a dish as per my own taste in the bargain,” chuckles Verma.

Now if you ever see a man making tea for his wife, do not see it as a chore anymore for he might be enjoying the privilege of being a caregiver himself!

The mom-in-law factor

So, how does the mother-in-law see this new emerging scenario? Does she cringe and frown every time her son picks up a plate or stirs up a pot on the stove? Well, if that is how her mind is conditioned, though things look very different now. Richa Mahendru, a senior teacher with the MGN School, Jalandhar, has an interesting tale to share. “I was recovering from a serious illness, which made it necessary for me to have a protein-rich diet. Ours was a vegetarian set-up and cooking non-vegetarian food was taboo. My husband changed the trend and he started to cook simple, high-protein non-vegetarian food for me on his own.” Talking about how the modern man has changed, she adds, “He understands that the professional world is very competitive. We can only perform to our best, if we have a stable domestic base and a partner who shares our load. So, he even helps me clean the kitchen in the morning before I rush to the school.”

The game of balance

At the end of the day, it is really about the balance. “Men can only have quality time with their wives if they pitch into share her chores,” says Nupur Sandhu, Behavior Counselor, Therapist and Serenity Surrender faculty, Ranikhet, Uttrakhand.

An Indian husband has always been juggling the roles of trying to be a good son and a loving partner since ages. It’s ironical though that neither of the two women in his life seems to be happy about it. However, the modern Indian man has finally learnt the right way to marital bliss is en-route chores, cooking and cleaning.

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