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Timeout before time’s up

A group of women in Chandigarh have found a novel way of letting their hair down after a stressful and eventful day at the office. They have enrolled with an instructor who gives them classes in Bollywood dance.

Timeout before time’s up

To de-stress and invigorate is essential for women to recover from the stress of a jam-packed schedule, insist psychotherapists. Thinkstock



Rachna Singh

A group of women in Chandigarh have found a novel way of letting their hair down after a stressful and eventful day at the office. They have enrolled with an instructor who gives them classes in Bollywood dance. They say it gives them the much-needed workout and the stereotyped Bollywood dance moves keep them entertained! They look forward to their evening with enthusiasm and go back feeling refreshed and ready to handle another scorcher of a day.

Nitika (name changed) swears by these dance sessions and makes sure she never misses them. “Office fatigue was a burden I carried home every day,” she says. “A night’s sleep did nothing to dispel my feeling of exhaustion. But now I wake up feeling refreshed. The dance session invigorates me physically and my stress levels have come down significantly.”

The contemporary working woman juggles several roles — the competent professional, the dutiful daughter, the devoted wife, the caring mother — the list is endless. In this melee of conflicting roles that demand her time and attention, she can barely find time for herself. Yet timeout to de-stress and invigorate is essential for women to recover from the stress of a jam-packed schedule, insist psychotherapists. They warn that chronic stress increases risk of heart conditions and digestive disorders and is also likely to cause psychological disorders such as anxiety, depression and insomnia. For emotional and physical well-being, it is imperative for women to rest, relax and re-energize.

More and more women realize the need for timeout to recuperate from the pressures of multi-tasking yet they still regard ‘me time’ as a selfish luxury. Women from times immemorial have been primary care-givers. They have been taught to think that ‘others’, be it husband or children or parents or in-laws, are the priority. Care of self comes a very poor second. Those women who ensure timeout for themselves are often wracked by guilt pangs.

A retired doctor from PGI, who is a regular golfer, talks about how guilt niggled at her whenever she spent a couple of hours on the golf course. To assuage her guilt, she played at the crack of dawn so that her ‘me-time’ did not eat into her quality time with her family. But fortunately, most women today realize that that timeout helps them stay motivated and take better care of others. They realize that by scheduling time for themselves they are not being selfish or narcissistic.

There is no standard de-stressing practice followed by women. Every woman has to find her own me-time tailored to her working schedule and interests. Lovely, a Jalandhar-based entrepreneur, is a huge ‘me-time’ supporter. She feels that timeout helps women to unwind and makes for better concentration levels at work. For her, walking and reading are the best panacea for stress. Dr Sucharita, principal of Apeejay College, Jalandhar, feels that meditation and yoga are the mantras for physical and mental rejuvenation. Abha Singh, a civil servant posted at Ludhiana, writes poetry in her free time and swears that it has a cathartic effect on her and gives her a sense of peace and tranquility.

Gurpreet Deol, Inspector General of Police and SP Kaur, a retired chief commissioner, can often be seen playing golf on weekends. This game of skill, accuracy and concentration in energizing lush environs seems to be their elixir. Dr Roopleen, an eye surgeon based in Dehradun, happily dons the mantle of a motivational counselor and uses her free time to provide motivation online as well as through her books. Others shop, socialize, jog, go to the gym or catch a movie with friends to relax. Today’s woman has found ways to re-energize through activities that make her feel happy and reduce her stress quotient.

However, a lot of working women today are still struggling with the demands of their career, household chores and the belief that ‘life is not about me’. Mini Verma, a civil servant posted in Pune rues that she has no ‘me time’. She would love to learn pottery and compile resources for home tutored children. Her only escape from the hum-drum of life is reading and cooking.

To get out of such self-imposed restrictions, therapists suggest that women should pencil in time for relaxation and self-care activities in their weekly appointment schedule. It is also imperative for them to religiously keep these appointments. Cherilynn Veland, a therapist and author of book ‘Stop Giving It Away’ feels that if women don’t gift themselves ‘me time’, ‘the have-tos’ and ‘shoulds’ of every day responsibilities shove the ‘want tos’ of dreams out of the way ‘like a bully would to the smallest kid in the lunch line’. She warns that waiting for timeout till you feel like it means you are already running empty. Her advice to the laggards is fake it, if you are not comfortable with claiming your space but don’t lose it. So ladies, take a hard look at your lives and slip in some self-care time. Give yourself permission to take time out from responsibilities and be in touch with your own self, without feeling guilty.

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