Meet the kickass bride

Nonika Singh

She kicks off her stilettos, off goes the pre-bridal attire. She dons her night pyjamas and dances away to glory on her sangeet night unmindful of the guests who are surprised but not aghast.

Yet another pretty bride has the gall to do a solo dance performance on her mehndi ceremony. And this one fearless lass simply tops them all. On the D-day itself, soon after the pheras, she trades her wedding lehenga for a more comfortable pair of jeans and t-shirt, that too in a colour forbidden for the newly wed — the ominous black. That’s not all. Soon she takes to the stage with a drink in her hand and grooves snazzy and sassy to some peppy beats.

If indeed you must be candid, be candid beautifully, says Khalil Gibran.

Coy brides are so 1990s, remarked Ileana d’cruz while laying down eight commandments in a promotional campaign for the new-age brides. And guess what, the bold and the beautiful next gen brides are not following anyone; they are only busy laying down their own set of rules.

Move over the ghoonghat-clad demure and diffident dulhan, who was as weighed down by her wedding dress as the weight of tradition. Today’s bride is neither blushing nor coy. Nor is she merely fiddling with her toes as family takes charge. Twinkle toes, she is out there in every which way organising her wedding, looking into details and not just merely selecting her trousseau.

Prachi Mahajan, who tied the nuptial knot a year ago, took months to collect empty bottles that were to be part of the wedding decoration that she had envisaged in her mind. From menu to décor, she not merely had a say in all arrangements, rather planned the occasions to the minutest details. Today she wouldn’t advise brides to be wedding planners for the most important day in their lives. But yes one advice she gives is — have as much fun as possible.

Ashima Kapoor, yet another Bride 2.0, agrees. She enjoyed the festivities that lasted for days at stretch to the brim. Sure she had the current fad of the bachelorette bash to anoint the end of bachelorhood. But her carefree spirit was not confined to the singles’ party alone. She was in her element at all nights and days that followed. To begin with, her decision to go solo for dance choreography didn’t go down well with her parents. Their refrain and reserve followed the typical log kya kahenge … But she countered with kuchh to log kahenge. Besides, her brother and his wife stood behind her rock solid. As she danced with gay abandon to “Mera saiyaan superstar,” her in-laws, too, didn’t raise eyebrows. Rather her sister-in-laws were a wee bit envious. Wistfully they wished; if only they had the same dare and chutzpah too.

Only more brides are not just longing but being who they are. Laveena Soni Sharma, too, followed her heart: she danced, drank and simply rocked on the day which she thinks is most important for the brides.

Shubina Sood, too, was not bound by inhibitions. She wore black for the cocktail party and white for her engagement. A make-up artist, who has over the years watched brides up, close and personal, she can sense a huge change in their demeanour. Yes, a few brides might still be stressed out on the D-day but most, she shares, are chilled out. Indeed, brides who have the gumption to drive in riding a bullet or following the custom of gurchari, normally reserved for grooms, are still an oddity. But a confident self-assured bride, willing to let her hair down, is no longer a rarity. Thinking out of the box and being unusual is their USP.

So Pradhi Moudgil, who will be getting married next month, intends to arrive in a decked up auto-rickshaw. Even her pre-wedding shoot was designed in a novel fashion (underwater pictures) to add to the memory bank. Expectedly, she has no intention of letting the wedding day pass in a jiffy either.

Moreover, it’s not just the bold and fearless bride brigade which is echoing ‘Times are a changin.’ The social guardians, who normally would curl up their lips at the slightest provocation, too, are shedding their reservations and becoming more open-minded. When Prachi decided to ditch her bridal attire and quickly take to stage even those who would as a rule scoff at such (mis)demeanours were appreciative of her social bravado.

Sociologists pin down the increasing acceptance of new social behaviour as yet another step forward in a woman’s right to freedom. It is indeed a reflection of their yearning to break free of conventions. Though marriage is seen as a sacrament and a time when traditions are reinforced in many ways, this slight dose of liberalism could set the pace of expectations and role play later in life.

Breaking a tradition or two can certainly send out signals in line with their feminist beliefs. Or perhaps not! Clearly, for a society in a flux, this could be just surface deep rebellion, a knee-jerk response of assertion and independence.

As Sucheta Singh, research faculty, Centre for the Study of Social Exclusion and Inclusive Policy, Panjab University, Chandigarh, feels, “It could well be a charade or a show off of strength.”

But for these free-spirited girls to be included in their own marriage as participants is merely an acknowledgment of their identity as independent thinking and intelligent beings. They know their minds and refuse point blank as Prachi puts it, “to be just pretty dolls.” On their red letter day, they are ready to shake a leg, eat, drink (if they so wish) and be merry.

Those who don’t approve can take a walk… Girls just want to have fun. Walking the altar or under the sun, when the wedding day is done, they just want to look back with a smile and happy memories. Since please all is a formula that never ever works ,‘please thyself’ is the mantra they are following with gusto and cheer.

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Demure no more 

“Where are the shy brides? I am yet to come across one,” says Angad Sodhi, a wedding photographer whose assignments take him from one exotic wedding destination to other. From pre-bridal shoots to the marriage ceremonies the brides not only put on their best face forward but also their candid selves. Why only the other day he got a call from a newly wed to shoot her honeymoon in the Maldives. Interestingly, it is mostly girls who commission him for wedding shoots. In a selfie-obsessed world, he views this new phenomenon as an extension of vanity and the fact that all of us are living our lives through pictures. 

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Dressing up for the D-day  

Well aware that an increasing number of brides are getting edgy and experimental, bridal couture is in spin. Low-cut blouses, evening gowns are now a staple in bridal wear. Though black is still not beautiful for the wedding night for brides, they are choosing an offbeat colour palette. Laveena Soni Sharma opted for a green bridal dress for she wanted to look different.