A ‘hole’ lot more

Aradhika  Sharma

Shobha: Can you guys believe what that crazy daughter of mine wants for her eighteenth birthday?

Mandy: Ananya is turning 18? Gosh! I still remember when she was just a toddler.

Shobha: I wish she were still one. At least she would not have asked me for a pair of jeans that cost £555 at Selfridges. 

Me: That’s over 50 grand!

Shobha: It’s a pair of terrible baggy-fit distress jeans, with ‘busted knee’ rips. She threw a bloody tantrum the other day and won’t agree to anything but those ‘awesome’ ragged jeans.

Sabrina: I can’t believe these torn jeans are expensive than regular ones. After all, you’re getting less material for your money…

Mandy: FYI, they’re called Destroyed or Distress denims and they come at a ‘rip-roaring’ cost.

Me: The only thing they’re destroying is the wallet.What a rip off!

Shobha: Ha ha! Yes, literally burning a hole in your pocket.

Sabrina: Maybe the trend will go away before Ananya’s birthday. After all, it’s a month away. 

Mandy (consulting Google): Doesn’t look like it! Apparently they started with being a part of the grunge fashion movement but now the best of designers are making them. According to fashion gurus, there’s even an optimum number of rips: two and a half.

Me: Look! They even have a ‘do it yourself’ for it. All you need is a razor or a pair of scissors and a pumice stone and then you have to do some cutting and tweezing out the threads for a nice pair of ‘destroyed jeans’.

Shobha: I don’t have the time for all that labour. Besides, Ananya would know that I’ve done the job and then we’ll have to deal with her sulking all year.

Mandy: They must be available in Chandigarh too, Shobha. I mean you can’t walk in Sector 17 or any mall in the city without being blitzed by bare knees, calves and thighs poking out through swatches of ragged denims!

Sabrina: Yaar, these young fashionistas know the difference. It seems there’s a delicate science to ripping those jeans.

Me: They’re actually being snooty about jeans not being ‘properly’ dirty and torn? What inverse snobbery!

Mandy: You should thank god thatshe hasn’t asked for those muddy, dirty jeans. Incidentally, those are jeans that look like they have been worn by someone with a dirty job. However, they are made for people who don’t.

Sabrina: Surely, she must’ve offered you alternatives to the jaded jeans?

Shobha: She has!

Me: What’s on the list?

Shobha: Number one is aTibetan Mastiff pup.

Sabrina: Nix that! Those huge, hairy creatures cost a bomb. What’s number two?

Shobha: The tiniest red faux leathermicro mini skirt you ever saw with a matching sequined bustier and high-heeled leather boots! She wants to wear it for her 18th birthday party!

There was speechless shock on the table while our imaginations struggled with and rejected the image.  Finally, Sabrina spoke for everyone: Well, what’re you waiting for then, Shobha? Shouldn’t you start looking for the most distressed, destroyed, dismal and dirty jeans you can find on the world wide web.