By hook or by crook

Aradhika  Sharma

Sipping appreciatively on her cool lassi, Sabrina said: The office administrator stopped by my workstation for a chat today while on his daily rounds.

Shobha: Ah! What did he have to say?

Sabrina: Well, actually he was asking me if I knew any suitable girls for a matrimonial match for his son. He thinks the boy has “sowed his wild oats” and is ready to settle down.

Me: Wild oats! Do people still use that phrase? The kids today would be much more graphic if they were to talk of ‘wild oats’.

Mandy: Well, then Sabrina, have you found a suitable match for the boy? Would the administrator be OK with a girl who has sown her wild oats as well? Or would he rather have a girl who is pure, fair, beautiful, homely, earning a 6-figure salary? Typical double standard Indian mentality. Bah!

Sabrina: That’s totally not what the poor man meant. Seriously, any nice girls you all could suggest?

Shobha: He should ask his son to register on the new matchmaking site on Facebook — saves everyone the botheration of hunting for a partner for him.

Me: Another dating site! 

Shobha: Ya! The FB says that this new function is for building real, long-term relationships.  It’s for dating, not just hook-ups.

Mandy: As opposed to which sites?

Me: Tinder, I suppose. And OkCupid, Coffee Meets Bagel and Bumble.

Sabrina: Looks like you’ve been busy, little lady. Been checking out prospectives, haan? Vaise, what’s the difference between dating and hooking up, anyway?

Me: Well, the premise of hooking up is that casual sexual encounters or one night stands are accepted and encouraged by those who opt for it. Dating would probably be for long-term romantic involvement. By the way, some people get married even after meeting on Tinder. For them, it's the beginning of a new relationship, I guess. 

Shobha: I would be awfully judgmental about a girl who said she met her husband on Tinder. I would think: “Really! Are you that sort of a girl? Hawww!”

Mandy: And what would you say about her husband? That he’s a super stud? Really Shobha, you’re such hypocrite sometimes — different standards for different genders! And anyway, this stuff is supposed to be consensual. 

Shobha: Achcha? And what of the emotional and psychological damage or unwanted pregnancies or sexual violence? How consensual is that and how safe?

Sabrina quickly stepped in to divert the argument. What’s the FB dating service called, she asked.

Shobha: It’s just called Dating. And it’s embedded in the FB app, so every user has access to it. They say Dating will allow users to pursue romantic connections.

Sabrina: To create more distraction for the kids who are already uncontrollable! Every kid thinks it's mandatory to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend. No time to study but plenty of time to ‘stud’. Humph!

Sabrina: And how about day to day human connections? Those are fast getting downgraded into obscurity. Maybe we need an app for those as well.

Me: That gives me a wonderful business idea. Let’s make an app and call it ‘Reality’.