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Learn to mind your manners

Finishing schools were a must in the Victorian ages for the women of good social standing, or those looking to improve their standing through marriage. These prepared women for marriage and enhanced their prospects of finding a suitable suitor.

Learn to mind your manners

An increasing number of finishing schools are opening their doors to men who want to make a mark in the corporate world



Aditi Garg

Finishing schools were a must in the Victorian ages for the women of good social standing, or those looking to improve their standing through marriage. These prepared women for marriage and enhanced their prospects of finding a suitable suitor. Over time, the relevance of these schools started to wane and even prestigious institutes in Switzerland like Institut Alpin Videmanette, Château Mont-Choisi and Institut Château Beau-Cedre, shut shop. After all, women were busy pursuing careers more actively than marriage. But there were some like Institut Villa Pierrefeu (IVP) that refused to die down and instead flourished. A tweak (or overhaul) in the curriculum and a change in approach has made these relevant once more, and how!

Looking beyond women

Finishing schools have been the sole preserve of women. But as women invaded male bastions, men have turned to areas, which were traditionally the domain of the fair sex. After all, if these schools can turn ordinary women into world-class corporate employees, men, too, could do with a lesson or two. An increasing number of finishing schools are opening their doors to men.

When Deborah King started her finishing school, Final Touch Finishing School, Inc. in Seattle, WA, in 1989, she had to redefine it to suit the changing times. She feels that these are more relevant for both sexes today than ever before. She says, “As cultures merge, companies hiring staff look for ways to communicate more effectively than by simply learning the spoken language. One must also be able to connect with others through their appearance, behaviour and written or spoken communication. We focus on equipping people with the necessary skills to be able to evaluate each social and business situation and respond with appropriate dress and behaviour. They learn how to cultivate effective relationships, for when people do business they must create trust.?”

Training global citizens

Globalisation has touched every aspect of our lives and everyone is aiming for a wider audience. Be it students who want to go to the best international institutes, businessmen who want to be a global face or service providers who see potential oversees, each one wants to put their best foot forward and make a perfect impression. In pursuit of that perfection, they don’t mind enrolling themselves into a school that will fine-tune their approach to better match global standards.

Pria Warrick, president and executive director, Pria Warrick Finishing Academy, New Delhi, has been in the business for 25 years and says, “Asians, especially Indians, lack basic etiquette. Words like thanks, please and sorry are not heard frequently enough. With the corporate world going global, it is the need of the hour to groom people to play the part well. We tend to take relationships for granted at home and this spills over at the workplace too. But such an attitude can be detrimental in an international setting. We arm our students with the right kind of soft skills like polite conversation, appropriate dressing, introductions, greetings, dining etiquette and many more things that will help them.”

New-age etiquette

A well-turned-out person in the past would mean someone who had good manners and was well dressed. While these are still important, there is much more that is needed to be considered competent even for an entry-level job. From honing up on skills like communication (social media stance, email etiquette, etc), team participation, leadership and time management to dealing ably with situations that arise in interactions with clients, a well-rounded personality goes beyond the technical skills required for the job. It is here that finishing schools and trainers come in.

Walchand Dale Carnegie Finishing School, a part of Walchand People First Ltd., has partnered with Dale Carnegie, USA (training), and PerformanSe, France (Assessments) to train not only students but trainers also. A relatively new entrant based in Mumbai, it was set up in 2007 and steers clear of claiming to turning women into marriage material. It has a curriculum designed to increase employability prospects among fresh graduates and coach trainers. The finishing school has a client list that includes The British Council, the Reserve Bank of India, H. R. College of Commerce & Economics, Kirloskar Institute of Advanced Management Studies, Kurukshetra University, Mithibhai College, Mt Carmel College, NIIT Ltd., and many more.

Not just the students but the mentors, too, feel the programme works. “I have been meeting the students who have undergone this course and there is a remarkable difference in them,” says R Tanwar, Dean of Colleges, Kurukshetra University.

Minding Ps and Qs abroad

When Indians travel abroad on business, they represent their companies and it is imperative that they don’t come across as crude. Being well acquainted with local customs and etiquette is sure to edge you ahead of the competition. Mark Murphy, author of Hiring for Attitude, in an interview to Forbes, said that 46 per cent of new hires (in a sample of 20,000) failed within 18 months. Surprisingly, 89 per cent of the time the reason was attitude, as opposed to 11 per cent for a lack of skill. The right attitude is a big deal when it comes to employability prospects today.

One of the oldest finishing schools in India, Florina Finishing School (nee Florina Charm School) was established in 1961 by Rina Rani Mehta, herself trained at a finishing school in London. Her daughter, Saloni Duggal took over and shifted it from Mumbai to Bangalore in 2003. While her mother restricted herself to tutoring women, in keeping with the times, Saloni coaches men with equal ease. She says, “Apart from etiquette, we coach corporate leadership in verbal communication, body language and inner and outer growth. They need to have global interaction capabilities, which change from region to region. Our awareness programme includes seven-course meals and black-tie events that teach them the finer nuances of dressing and dining well. Good manners is not just making yourself comfortable in a given setting but making other around you comfortable too.” Among a clientele that ranges from 8 to 68 years, she has trained people from Murugappa Group, Shreya Gupta (Image Consultant) and Christina (International Tennis Player), along with would-be brides and teens.

Bespoke solutions

With finishing schools taking over the role of coaching for successful roles, as a corporate leader, a businessman, a homemaker or others, each role requires them to customise their training modules to better suit the requirements. Despite the tag of ‘prep schools for marriageable girls’ wearing off, those enrolling in finishing schools in India are not always willing to talk about it. Mother of a young girl from Delhi was thrilled when her daughter decided to enrol into one after her MBA. On condition of anonymity, she shares that though her daughter felt it would help her land a cushy job, the mom was relived that a finishing school might tame her career-oriented daughter and mould her into perfect marriage material.

Studentspeak

Bryan Badzin and Christine Kong have both been to Final Touch Finishing School and learnt important  lessons in conducting themselves.

In my professional life, I am now less casual in speech and dress which has helped me gain respect. At a personal level, I have become more thoughtful and confident. — Bryan Badzin

Even though a lot of people feel etiquette is antiquated, it still is the most  important thing when it comes to making an impression. My training has taught me that respect for yourself and for others is the most important in any situation. I am now better prepared for interviews and work. — Christine Kong

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