New low for new mom?

Samir Parikh

It is common for new mothers to experience depressive symptoms such as increase in irritability, frequent crying spells, restlessness, difficulty in sleeping, feeling of exhaustion, etc. These symptoms typically have an onset around two weeks after child birth and can persist up to six months or longer as well. However, recent evidence has shown that such symptoms could also be manifested during pregnancy and, therefore, the syndrome is termed as peri-partum depression, which typically has an onset in the first and the third trimester of the pregnancy, and could persist throughout the nine months and post delivery too.

In itself, the period during pregnancy and after child birth is regarded as a period of stress as women tend to grapple with hormonal changes, changes in their body image, the challenges associated with the new role of a mother (or even dealing with motherhood with a second child), any anxieties and psychological conflicts associated with being a mother, and various other psychosocial issues. It could be a very overwhelming experience and such a depression could be manifested due to an interaction between both biological as well as psychosocial factors. Biologically, the various causal factors could include genetics, endocrinal systems and other biochemical factors while the personality of the individual, her relationship with her husband and other family members, and the preparation prior to the pregnancy and parenthood could all contribute towards the development of such symptoms post the child’s birth.

For a mother who has spent around nine months in the excitement and apprehension of giving birth to a new life, to be suddenly filled with unexplainable emotions of sadness, irritability, etc. could be very devastating and unimaginable. It is very common for such mothers to feel guilty and considering themselves to be ‘bad mothers’ and feeling less attached towards their own new born baby. In this guilt, they often hesitate to talk about the way they are feeling, which further accentuates their depression.

Following are some points that could be kept in mind to cope with such symptoms of peri-partum depression:

Support group: It is very important to be connected with other new mothers (and not just experienced mothers) to be able to relate with them and share your anxieties, concerns, worries and apprehensions. Simply talking about the way you feel can also help reduce the burden and alleviate distress.

Self-care: As we prepare to give birth to a new life, most of our energies (and of those around us) tend to be focussed towards the baby, especially post-delivery. Therefore, it is very important for you to create time for yourself and your own care.

Don’t forget your partner: Remember to spend time with your partner as well and ensure that you continue the rituals of your relationship. This serves as an important and strong pillar of support for you and you should be ensuring both partners participation and involvement in the process.

Ensure a healthy lifestyle: While you are likely to have paid a special emphasis on your health over the past year, it is equally important to pay attention to your own health even post-delivery. Adequate sleep, proper diet and regular exercise are a must to help you not just regain your appropriate body shape, but also maintain your physical and psychological well-being.

Educate yourself about the pregnancy: It is helpful to make an effort to learn as much as you can about the process of childbirth. This will ensure you have realistic expectations for yourself and your baby and will help you prepare for the changes to expect in the future.

Don’t overdo it: Despite being eager to take the best care of your child, it is important for you to remember not to overdo it. Don’t try to be a ‘supermom’. Set limits, and don’t let yourself get fatigued or burnt out in your efforts.

Finally, during the pregnancy itself, it is important to give psychological and emotional support to the expecting mother. Preparing the mother by using various psychological techniques like relaxation training, supportive counselling, and inculcating more adaptive coping mechanisms can go a long way towards easing the process of pregnancy and child birth. Preparation for parenthood, changing roles of the couple and understanding the psychological need of the growing child should also be addressed. Psycho-education of the couple regarding pregnancy, child birth, and peri- and post-partum conditions is also necessary.

It is often incomprehensible for the mother to experience a feeling of disconnect from her own child and could also breed feelings of guilt and self-blame. However, it is not uncommon and, therefore, it is important for new mothers to be aware of such a phenomenon and be open to talking about it, and seeking help.

The writer is Director, Department of Mental Health and Behavioural Sciences, Fortis Healthcare