Net picking

The car

My grandmother lives in Hermanus. Recently, a friend of hers, a woman about 55 years old, was out shopping. When she returned to her car, there were six black men sitting in it. Being the kind of feisty woman who packs a gun for emergencies, she whipped it out and yelled, "I know how to use it, and I’m quite prepared to. Get out!"

The men jumped out of the car and ran away.

The woman then got into the car, and to her confusion, the key wouldn’t fit in the ignition. Wrong car. Not hers. Oops.

Realising her little faux pas, she thought she better report her mistake at the police station. Which she did. When she told the officer on duty the story, he started laughing. And when he could speak again, he pointed at the six terrified black men sitting at the other end of the room — six men who’d just reported being hijacked by an elderly white lady.

Overturned wagon

It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise.

"Hey Willis!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I’ll help you get the wagon up."

"That’s mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don’t think Pa would like me to."

"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.

"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won’t like it."

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."

"Don’t be foolish!" the neighbour said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"

"Under the wagon."

(These jokes have been culled from various sites on the Internet by Sunil Sharma)