|Saturday, January 29, 2000||
A MAN & wife entered a dentists office. The Wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I dont want gas or Novocain because Im in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."
Youre a brave woman said the dentist. Now, Show me which tooth it is.
The wife turns to her husband and says "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."
Day and night
A motorist, after being bogged down in a muddy road, paid a passing farmer five dollars to pull him out with his tractor. After he was back on dry ground he said to the farmer, "At those prices, I should think you would be pulling people out of the mud night and day."
|"Cant", replied the
farmer, "At night I haul water for the hole."
Heads or tails?
The blonde reported for her University final examination which consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.
During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.
The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.
"I finished the exam in half and hour. But," she says, "Im checking my answers."
A very successful
businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law.
"I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the
family," said the man. "To show you how much we
care for you, Im making you a 50-50 partner in my
business. All you have to do is go to the factory every
day and learn the operations."
How long would we have?
The skydiving instructor was going through the question and answer period with his new students when one of them asked the usual question always asked: "If our chute doesnt open; and the reserve doesnt open, how long would we have till we hit the ground?"
The jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan answered: "The rest of your life."
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I dont wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than Ive ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wifes first husband."
(These jokes have been culled from various sites on the Internet by Sunil Sharma)