|Saturday, March 18, 2000||
A MAN was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye. It loudly announced, "$500 Porsche! New!" The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke, but he said to himself, its worth a shot. So he went to the ladys house who was selling the Porsche and she led him into the garage. Sure enough, there was an almost brand new Porsche. "Wow!" the man said, "Can I take it for a test drive?"
"Sure," answered the lady. Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly. When he got back to the ladys house, he asked her, "Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?"
Then the lady replied with a laugh, "My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me, You can have the house and the furniture, just sell my Porsche and send me the money. "
A Brunette, a Redhead,
and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the
roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a
blanket for them to jump into. The firemen yell to the
Brunette, "Jump! Jump! Its your only chance to
survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen
yank the blanket away...the Brunette slams into the
sidewalk like a tomato. "Cmon! Jump! You got
to jump! say the firemen to the Redhead. "Oh
no! Youre gonna pull the blanket away!" says
the Redhead. "No! Its Brunettes we cant
stand! Were OK with Redheads!" "OK"
says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank
the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the
pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the
edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell "Jump! You
have to jump!"
"Look," the Blonde says, "nothing you say is gonna convince me that youre not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it..."
Three insurance salesmen were sitting in a restaurant boasting about each companys service. The first one said, "When one of our insured died suddenly on Monday, we got the news that evening and were able to process the claim for the wife and had mailed a check on Wednesday evening". The second one said, "When one of our insured died without warning on Monday, we learned of it in 2 hours and were able to hand-deliver a check the same evening". The last salesman said, "Thats nothing. Our office is on the 20th floor of the World Trade Centre, Tower 1. One of our insured who was washing a window on the 85th floor, slipped and fell. We handed him his check as he passed our floor".
The blondes horses
A blonde guy bought two
horses, and could never remember which was which. A
Once upon a time there
lived three men: a doctor, a chemist, and an engineer.
For some reason all three offended the king and were
sentenced to die on the same day. The day of the
execution arrived, and the doctor was led up to the
guillotine. As he strapped the doctor to the guillotine,
the executioner asked, "Head up or head down?"
"Head up," said the doctor.
Keep the change
A world leader met with Clinton in the Oval Office. Bill said, "To show my appreciation for all the things youve done for our country, I want to present you with a brand new Cadillac. Its loaded! It has everything! Here you go. Here are the keys."
The other world leader said, "Now, Bill, you know that I cant accept that!"
Bill said, "Oh, yeah, right! Gift limits and all that! Here! Ill sell it to you for half a dollar!"
His guest said, "Okay, Mr. President," and gave him a dollar.
Bill said, "Oops! I dont have change!" He pocketed the dollar.
His guest said, "Thats okay. Ill just take two Cadillacs."
(These jokes have been culled from various sites on the Internet by Sunil Sharma)