Saturday, April 1, 2000
N E T  P I C K I N G

Why I’m smarter than you

ONE day a bunch of workers was digging a hole. While the men were digging, there was a supervisor telling them where to dig. The men in the hole figured that the supervisor was getting paid more for doing less. They sent a worker up to ask the supervisor why this was the case.

The supervisor said, "Because I’m smarter than you. That’s why!" The worker argued with this man for a while. So the supervisor pulled the worker aside and brought him to a nearby telephone pole. He put his hand on the telephone pole and said, "Hit my hand."

The worker said, "Nah, I ain’t gonna hit your hand!" But the supervisor insisted.

So, the worker tightened his fist and tried to hit the supervisor’s hand. But the supervisor pulled his hand away, and the worker hit the telephone pole with full force, causing his hand to bleed. The supervisor said, "See. That’s why I’m smarter than you."

  The worker went back to the hole with his bloody hand and started digging again. The other workers came up to him and asked, "What did he say?" The worker replied, "Let’s put it this way..." then he paused.

He looked around and said, "Well, there don’t seem to be any telephone poles around here." So he put his hand in front of his face and said, "Alright, try to hit my hand."

Speeding ticket

A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all travelling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.

The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don’t think it’s fair. There were plenty of other cars around me going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?"

"Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man.

"Ummm, yeah... so," the startled man replied.

The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch all the fish?"

All for a drink

A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink, he could not be served additional liquor at this bar, and could a cab be called for him? The drunk is briefly surprised, then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the barstool and staggers out the front door. A few minutes later, the same drunk tumbles in the SIDE door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over and, still politely - but more firmly, refuses service to the man due to his inebriation, and again offers to call a cab. The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head. A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the BACK door of the bar. He plops himself up on a barstool, gathers his wits and belligerently orders a drink. The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be called immediately. The surprised drunk looks at the bartender, and in hopeless anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at?

(These jokes have been culled from various sites on the Internet by Sunil Sharma)