|Saturday, November 18, 2000||
In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb...or what?"
"Not at all, Ma’am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don’t pout when I yell at them."
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"
"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track."
"What sort of question?"
"Well, you might ask him, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?’
The blonde thought a
moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn’t happen to
have another example would you? I must confess I don’t know much
In the summer of 1998 a man in Amsterdam went to his priest and confessed, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During the second World War, I hid a wealthy Jewish refugee in my attic to save him from the Nazis." The priest, a bit perplexed, replied, "Well, son, that was quite a courageous and generous thing to do. Why do you think it was a sin? God will bless you for your kindness."
"But, father, I made him agree to pay me 20 Gulden for every week he stayed." "I admit that wasn’t something to be proud of, but you did it for a good cause." Replied the father.
"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..."
"What is that, my son?"
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
Two rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don’t catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they’re driving home they’re really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?" The other guy says, "Wow! Then it’s a good thing we didn’t catch any more!"
Who runs faster?
Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appeared from a distance, running toward them. One of the guys took out a pair of Nikes from his bag and started to put them on. The other guy, with a surprised look on his face, exclaimed, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?"
His friend replied, "I don’t have to outrun it, I just have to run faster than you."
(The jokes have
been culled from various sites on the Internet by Sunil Sharma)