Saturday, December 9, 2000

Bad luck

Standing at the edge of the lake, a fisherman saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Another man was standing on the shore screaming for help.

The fisherman ran over to the man. "Help!" the other man started, "I canít swim! My wifeís drowning! Iíll give you $1000 if you save her!"

The fisherman jumps in the water, swims powerfully out to the drowning woman, puts his arm around her, and swims back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman coughs up water, then says, "Ok, bud, whereís my Ďgrandí?"

"But, this is my mother-in-law!"

The fisherman reaches into his pocket with a frown and says, "Just my luck. Ok, how much do I owe you?"



Our man was walking down a dark alley when suddenly a mugger jumped at him.

"Your money or your life" the mugger barked.
"You mean I have a choice?" said our man. "Here take this...."
He pulled out his wallet and gave it to the mugger.
"And this...usually this is secret money". He removed his cap and flipped it around and there! Some more money! "Wait! Here is my card. Feel free to contact me whenever you have a cash crunch!"

The mugger left confused and dazed.

"Such a nice fellow!" sobbed our man. "He gave me a choice. At home I have no choice, my wife takes them both!"

Blonde mail call

A man was mowing his front yard when his attractive, blonde, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to her mailbox. She opened the mailbox, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house. A little later, she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and again slammed it shut. Angrily back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, the blonde came out again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

She replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!"

What side?

A woman brought an old picture of her dead husband, wearing a hat, to the photographer. She wanted to know if the photographer could remove the hat from the picture. He convinced her he could easily do that, and asked her what side of his head he parted his hair on.

"I forget," she said. "But you can see that for yourself when you take off his hat."

(These jokes have been culled from various sites of the Net by Sunil Sharma)