|Saturday, February 17, 2001||
teacher wanted to teach his ninth grade class a lesson on the evils of
liquor so he produced a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two
God was in the
process of creating the universe. And he was explaining to his
subordinates: ‘Look everything should be in balance. For every 10
deer there should be a lion. Look here my fellow angels, here is the
country of the United States. I have blessed them with prosperity and
money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension.
A bus load of
politicians were driving down a country road all going to the local
constituency to battle out the coming elections. Sudden the bus ran
off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer’s field.
Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to see what happened.
He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians into it. The
next day the local police came to the scene to investigate. The police
inspector saw the crashed bus and asked the old farmer, "You
buried all of them... but were they all dead?"
A man enters a barber
shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the
problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"
"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques-visualization, association-it has made a big difference for me."
"That’s great! What was the name of that clinic?"
Fred went blank. He thought and thought but couldn’t remember.
Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that’s it!" He turned to his wife..."Rose, what was the name of that clinic?
The frail rope
There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously, the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying.
One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope.
The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks."
The USSR Prime
Secretary ordered the soviet scientists to build a telescope he could
use to watch the Americans. So they built and it was beautiful. When
Brejnev came to test it, he looked thru it and saw a big city with
lots of skyscrapers.
(Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma)