Saturday, September 15, 2001

Language problem

Morris and Becky were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption centre called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation...

On the way home from the adoption centre, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.

After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Russian?"

The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him."


The college President hired a new admissions administrator. At the conclusion of the interview, he said: "Please don't tell anyone what we're paying you." "Don't worry Sir," the new bureaucrat replied, "I'm as ashamed of my salary as you are."


Intelligent father

A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple of hours out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him.

He asked his father, "How does this boat float?"

The father thought for a moment, then replied: "Don't rightly know, son."

The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breathe underwater?"

Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son."

A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?"

Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son."

Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says: "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"

"Of course not son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything!"

Who makes the best patient?

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients. The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour coded." The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. They have no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable.

Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma

This feature was published on September 1, 2001