|Saturday, November 3, 2001||
There were two evil
brothers. They were rich, and used their money to keep their evil ways
from the public eye. They even attended the same church, and looked to
be prefect Christians. Then their pastor retired, and a new one was
hired. Not only could he see right through the brothers' deception,
but he also spoke well and true, and the church started to swell in
numbers. A fund-raising campaign was started to build a new church.
All of a sudden, one of the brothers died. The remaining brother
sought out the new pastor the day before the funeral and handed him a
check for the amount needed to finish paying for the new building.
"I have only one condition," he said. "At his funeral,
you must say my brother was a saint." The pastor gave his word,
and deposited the check.The next day, at the funeral, the pastor did
not hold back. "He was an evil man," he said. "He
cheated on his wife and abused his family." After going on in
this vein for some time, he concluded with, "But compared to his
brother, he was a saint."
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss concerned about all his employees well-being asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
To which the blonde replies... "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss feeling very sorry at this point explains to the young girl. "Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy, just take the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly states..."No.. I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual... "If you need anything just let me know."
Well... a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde...he looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically.
He rushes out to her asking, "What's so bad now... are you okay?"
"No..." exclaims the blonde, "I just received a horrible call from my sister and she said that her mom died too!"
Fresh out of business school, the young man answered an ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. "I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."
"Excuse me?" the accountant said.
"I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back."
"I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?"
"I'll start you at eighty thousand."
"Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?"
"That," the owner said, "is your first worry."
Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good, mostly As and a couple of Bs. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her habit." Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother."
(Culled from the Net by