|Saturday, March 9, 2002||
The man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "You know I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?" asked the woman
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."
A young woman wasn't feeling well, and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician. "I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that."
The woman went to the doctor's office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced. "I'm back!"
Not fooled for a
second, the doctor quickly examined her and said, "Very good,
just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit."
A somewhat advanced society had figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says, "Here's a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature!
"What else do you have?" asks the student. "Well, I have pills for art, history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist. The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks, "Do you have a pill for maths?" The pharmacist says "Wait just a moment", and goes back into the storeroom and brings back a very large pill and plunks it on the counter. "I have to take that huge pill for maths?" inquires the student. The pharmacist replies, "Well, you know ... maths always was a little hard to swallow."
Can't throw that far!
A difficult independent 75-year-old woman liked sitting by the park feeding the pigeons. One day she brought with her a whole loaf of fresh bread just to feed her daily company. Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. She sat there without being noticed by anyone in the rich suburban neighborhood. Then suddenly a man in his early 40s rained on her parade by telling her that she shouldn't throw away good food on a bunch of pigeons that can find food anywhere when there are a lot of people starving in Africa.
She replied in crazed anger and without hesitation, "Well, hell, I can't throw that far!"
"Honey," said a husband to his wife, "I've invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" shrieked the wife. "I know all that," said the husband.
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
(Culled from the
Net by Sunil Sharma)