Addiction

HAVING arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realised he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat and went about his fishing. An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms.

Two guys were working at a sawmill when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm. His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day he goes to see his friend, and finds him playing tennis. "Incredible!" says his friend. "Medical science is amazing."

Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off. Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day, he goes down to see his friend and finds him outside playing football. "Incredible!" says his friend. "Medical science is amazing!"

Well another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head. Well his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached. The next day he goes to see his friend but could not find him. He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, "Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday." The doctor thinks for a minute and says, "Oh yeah, some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he choked to death due to severe suffocation."

John accused his wife Jill of having no sense of humour.

Jill responded, "You've got to be kidding. I even have an official document that says I have a sense of humour."

John said, "What document?"

Jill replies, "Our marriage licence."

Two Rednecks rob a Brink's Armoured truck and all they get away with are two sacks, so they keep one each. After a while they meet again and one asks the other, "What did you find in your sack?" "Half a million bucks."

"Aw... that's a lot! What did you do with all that cash?"

"I bought a house and a boat. How about your sack?"

"Bah... mine was full of unpaid bills"

"And what did you do with them?"

"Eh well . . . little by little, I'm paying them off.."

— Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma